Walking on the Water––Faith

By Fr. Conor Donnelly

(Proofread)

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

My Lord and my God, I firmly believe that you are here, that you see me, that you hear me. I adore you with profound reverence. I ask your pardon for my sins and grace to make this time of prayer fruitful. My Immaculate Mother, Saint Joseph, my father and lord, my guardian angel, intercede for me.

“Immediately afterwards, he made his disciples get into the boat and cross the sea ahead of him, while he dismissed the crowd. When he had dismissed the crowd, he went up the mountain by himself to pray” (Matt. 14:22-23).

Our Lord sends the apostles away. He knows what He is going to do. He knows what’s going to happen later in the evening and He withdraws by Himself to pray. The stage is set for something special.

Then we’re told, “When it was late, he was there alone, but the boat was in the midst of the sea, buffeted by the waves, for the wind was against them” (Matt. 14:23-24).

Our Lord was there, praying, probably on a mountain someplace, and He knew that the apostles were in difficulty. The boat was in the middle of the lake, and this lake is a bit like the world that we live in.

They were buffeted by the waves. The winds were against them. Things were rough. It was choppy. It wasn't easy.

Our Lord lets them stay in that situation for quite some time. “In the fourth watch of the night, He came to them, walking upon the water” (Matt. 14:25). He didn't come in the first watch, or the second, or the third. He let them experience this situation, this difficulty, the winds, the waves.

Occasionally, Our Lord, in our own personal life, allows us to go through all sorts of situations, always for our good. He wants us to grow in virtue.

He knows that all the time He's taking care of everything, He's going to look after everything. But He wants our total commitment. He wants us to experience this aspect of going against the grain, being buffeted by the waves, all sorts of things that we don't expect. He wants us to experience what it feels like, or what it means to have the wind against us.

But He knows that He's going to come. He's not going to leave them in that situation for a long time. Our Lord knows how much we can take. “His grace is sufficient for us” (cf. 2 Cor. 12:9).

All these situations are situations of growth. Ultimately, He's preparing the apostles for all the later contradictions or challenges that they're going to have to endure. But He also wants them to experience the fact that He comes to them.

“And he came walking upon the sea” (Matt. 14:25). He didn't come to them in the way that they expected. He's going to frighten the living daylights out of them and they're going to think that it's a ghost.

“They, seeing him walking along the sea, were greatly alarmed and exclaimed, ‘It is a ghost!’” (Matt. 14:26).

But it wasn't a ghost; it was Jesus. Our Lord invites us to look with faith at the ordinary realities that are around us: the contradictions that may come, or the challenges, or the ways in which Our Lord may come to us when we don't recognize Him. Possibly, He stirs up all sorts of sentiments inside us, but ultimately it is Him.

He's going to be Our Savior. He's going to calm them down, as He does with each one of us, inviting us to live a life of a deeper faith, a deeper commitment, deeper trust and abandonment.

“They, seeing him walking along the sea, were greatly alarmed.” These were professional fishermen. They were used to being out on the lake. They had seen many things. But they hadn't seen this. “And they cried out for fear” (Matt. 14:26).

Our Lord, when He withdrew up on the mountain, had foreseen and known that they're going to go through all these experiences and these sentiments.

But He wants them to go through this. He wants them to experience fear, so that they will have a greater faith in Him and a greater trust. He wants them to see how He will calm them down and prove to them that He will be with us always, “even unto the end of the world” (Matt. 28:20).

“And Jesus immediately spoke to them saying, ‘Take courage, it is I. Do not be afraid’” (Matt. 14:27).

“Immediately.” He doesn't leave them in that situation for a few more hours. They've already had enough. They've learned the lesson. They've come to see all the wonderful things that He can do and so, their faith in Him has been increased all the time. And He encourages them: “Take courage.”

St. Paul says, “Keep encouraging one another” (1 Thess. 5:11). Everybody needs a bit of encouragement. We have to be people who give a lot of encouragement to other people, particularly when they don't see things clearly. Many things in this life, we don't see clearly.

There were two guys at a dance one night and they had too much to drink. One said to the other, “Why don't you go over there and ask the lady in the purple dress to dance?”

The guy took on the challenge and he went over and asked the lady in the purple dress to dance. She said, “No. For three reasons. One, you're drunk. Two, I don't dance. Three, I am the bishop of this diocese.”

Sometimes there are things we don't quite see very clearly. We get sort of a blurred impression of what it is. We get a bit of an outline, but we don't see the full picture.

That's what the apostles were sort of getting on this occasion, and what they saw filled them with fear. “It's a ghost!”

But of course, it wasn't a ghost. It was something completely different. It was Christ coming to them in a different guise, in a different way. Something they weren't used to.

He was challenging them also to open their minds, to open their hearts, to look at Him and upon Him in a different way.

“He said, ‘Take courage.’” He's building up their courage, making them stronger, because one day they're going to have to face the cross.

They're going to have to change their lives. They're going to have to become real apostles. All this strengthening of their courage and of their will and of their faith is going to be very important.

I may have mentioned before about a man who came to me in another country who had missed his promotion. His job had taken a left turn. He was very down.

I encouraged him to go and read the chapter on pessimism in The Forge, which is the chapter in St. Josemaría's writings I think I've recommended to more people than any other chapter.

He came back the following week and said, “Father, there was a point there from St. Josemaría who quotes Our Lord speaking to the apostles (Matt. 14:27): ‘Take courage, it is I. Do not be afraid’” (Josemaría Escrivá, The Forge, Point 285).

He said, “I've been repeating those words every moment of every hour of every day for the last seven days. Those words have kept me going.”

The words of Our Lord can be very powerful. They can be very useful. Often, we in our apostolate have to be the people who transmit those words to others; help them to discover the authentic Christ who comes to encourage us in the difficult moments of our life:

When the wind is against us. When we're buffeted by the waves. When we're confused. When we don't see very clearly. When we're wondering why. Why this? Why now? Why me?

But it all has some divine purpose. We're carried in the palm of the hand of a God who loves us. He's looking after everything.

“But Peter answered him and said, ‘Lord, if it is you, bid me come to you over the water’” (Matt. 14:28).

“If it is you.” Peter is trying to believe, but he doesn't quite get there. To him it still looks like a ghost. It doesn't look like the Jesus that he knows. “If it is you, bid me come to you on the water.”

Notice it's Peter who speaks out. Impulsive. First one to take the lead and he asks for something crazy: “Allow me to walk on the water.”

It looks like fun. Let me have a go. I want to have a try. Whatever you can do, I want to try and do also. There’s something a little bit childlike or childish about his request.

“He said, ‘Come’” (Matt. 14:29). All through His life Our Lord is using that verb “come.”

“Come, follow me, and I will make you into fishers of men” (Matt. 4:19).

“Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28).

“Master, where do you live?” ... “Come and see” (John 1:38-39).

Jesus invites Peter to come closer—to come out of the boat that is buffeted by the waves, with the wind against him.

But come to me and you will find…your faith, the meaning and purpose of your life, the answers to so many questions.

“Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water to come to Jesus” (Matt. 14:29).

He responded to the call. He didn't shrink back and say, ‘I have changed my mind. It doesn't look like a very solid enterprise. No, I’ll withdraw.’

But he got out of the boat. Daring. Courage. And he walked on the water. It worked. He was doing okay.

“But seeing that the wind was strong he was afraid, and as he began to sink, he cried out, saying, ‘Lord, save me’” (Matt. 14:30).

As long as he had his eyes on Our Lord he was doing fine. He was walking on the water. But as soon as he took his eyes off Christ, that's when he began to sink.

There's a lesson there for our lives. We should keep our eyes on Our Lord in all the challenging situations of our life.

Like exams. We might think that the worst possible thing that could ever happen to us in our life is an exam. And maybe, we're right. But there's a moment in our life that comes. It's a glorious moment when there are no more exams—like the beginning of the rest of our life.

But then you look back and you see: maybe there wasn't everything bad about those exams, even though I didn't sleep well before it, and I was very nervous, and the adrenaline was circulating.

Very often we can learn an awful lot from exams. We're very alert. We're very tense. We can pick up things that we've missed in the class. It can be a whole learning experience.

It’s a bit like being in that boat buffeted by the waves. It can seem that not just the wind is against us, but the teachers are against us. Life is against us. The paper is against us. The examiners are against us. We can't win.

But then all that passes. We might not pass the exam and everything else is still against us. But still, we learn also from our failures. It’s a very good thing to fail an exam sometimes, or not to do as well as we thought we were going to do. We learn a little bit more about ourselves, and about life.

But Jesus is there. We learn about the deeper things that matter, that life is not all about exams, and that all the time Our Lord is shaping us: through our education, through this class, through this contact, with this teacher or this examiner who might seem to be so difficult or so distant.

Ultimately, He is there to help us and He is there with us, not against us. But He is trying to help us to be a more professional person or a more competent person, trying to make sure that we know what we should know.

Ultimately, it's a service. They're doing a good thing. They're doing a job.

When exams are over, we can look back and thank God for this experience. We learn from it. We mature. We grow, like the apostles on this occasion.

When we feel uncertain or we’d like to sail through our exams, or we don't know what's coming up in the paper and we pray a little more in those moments, that’s also interesting.

Exams lead us to pray, because we realize, I need the help of God. And maybe, I need it a bit more than I realize. But then things pass. But we've expressed our faith.

So, as long as Peter was focused on Our Lord, everything was going fine. But then, when he noticed the wind was strong...

It's not the wind that brings him down. It's his lack of faith. His faith is not yet firm and that's a little bit what this whole episode is all about.

Our Lord wants to use these difficult moments to strengthen their faith, to make them strong in this virtue.

In our prayer today, we can ask Our Lord: Lord, increase my faith. No matter what may happen in the ups and downs of life, help me to know that you're there with me all the time, even if you come in unusual ways, or you express your will in unusual ways, over and above and beyond everything.

Whatever may be happening on the surface of the sea of our life, help me to remember that you are there, with calm waters down below. I am a child of God and you're looking after everything.

“He cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ Jesus at once stretched forth his hand and took hold of him, saying, ‘O you of little faith! Why did you doubt?’” (Matt. 14:30-31).

At once Our Lord stretched out His hand. He didn't wait until Peter had sort of disappeared into the water and then finally bring him out when he's perfectly wet. No, He stretched out at once. Took hold of him. Lifted him up. Put him back in the boat.

Our Lord is always there for us, even in weak moments when our faith is not as strong as it might be.

Life may be full of contradictions, crosses, challenges, reversals of fortunes, but all these things are things that Our Lord permits, so that we will grow in our faith and in our trust of Him, preparing us for the great enterprises of faith that He has planned for us.

One time in Argentina, St. Josemaría was going to a big get-together with a few thousand people. It was one of the first times that he was having one of these big get-togethers. It hadn't happened before. This was in the later years of his life.

On the way there in the car, he was sort of wondering, “Am I tempting God? Am I asking Him for too much to bring all these people together to listen to me, to the things I'm going to say to them?”

There were doubts in his mind. Then he went to this theater where this get-together was going to happen. It was full to capacity with a couple of thousand people, and he began to look.

There were different layers in this theater. Different floors. They were all full of people. He lifted up his eyes and saw the quantity of people that were there. He heard a voice inside him that said, “O man of little faith, why did you doubt?”

God was encouraging him, with this catechesis that He was about to bring about, with all these people and their formation.

Sometimes Our Lord allows us or permits us to go through difficult moments, because He wants to show us greater things. He wants us to be thinking of souls and great projects with souls.

“And when they got into the boat, the wind fell” (Matt. 14:32). Immediately, Our Lord calms the elements.

There's another moment when Our Lord is this time with the apostles in the boat, and they're buffeted also by the waves. There's a tremendous storm. The winds are funneling down through the mountains and whipping up the waves.

The apostles are terrified. These are strong fishermen who've been in all sorts of waters. But this storm is something else.

Our Lord is in the stern of the boat on a cushion of sleep, proving to the world for all time that He didn't suffer from insomnia. He was able to sleep in any sort of situation.

The apostles go to Him and say, “Lord, does it not concern you that we are perishing?” (Mark 4:38). Other interesting words. He's the personification of divine love. “Does it not concern you?” Here you are fast asleep when we are absolutely terrified out of our wits.

Our Lord allows that moment to happen. He allows them to ask that question, for them to realize how terrified they are, because He's going to work a great miracle.

He stands up in the boat and speaks to the elements like an adult speaking to children who become too noisy at play: “Be calm.” And there came a great calm (Mark 4:39-40).

The wind fell. Just like now, the wind fell. Our Lord restores the calm. Everything is back to normal. For a while He wants to stir up everything. But there are moments that come when He says, “Okay, back to normal.”

“But they who were in the boat came and worshiped him, saying, ‘Truly you are the Son of God’” (Matt. 14:33).

This was precisely the miracle and the response Our Lord wanted to elicit from them. With these events, He is teaching us to have a great faith in Him.

Peter had a certain faith and later on, he was going to show that faith. “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God” (Matt. 16:16). But in this moment his faith was not yet solid.

Our Lord is using this experience to form them, to make them into the great saints and the great apostles that He has called them to be. It's all a process.

When Our Lord acts in our life—bringing us to this center, bringing us to study in a certain school, exposing us to certain ideas, helping us to notice certain things, or pick up certain lessons here and there—all the time He is preparing us, preparing us for all the plans He has in the future, and inviting us to look to Him a little more.

Peter didn't keep his eye on Christ. Jesus, help me to keep my eye on you: on the sacraments, on my prayer, on my spiritual reading, on my Mass, on my rosary, on the means that you have given to me, and the apostolic mission that you want me to have for my life, which in this particular moment might seem a million miles away.

But you have placed me among these friends, these students, these people at this stage in their life, like me. People around me. These are people whose lives you want me to touch, maybe for the rest of eternity. I have a specific job to do with them.

The lake is like an image of the world, the modern world that we are living in, in which the Church is carrying out her mission and all sorts of winds are blowing. Some of them are pretty bad winds: wrong ideas about the family, about marriage and possibly, the people around us are caught up with some of these ideas.

The world presents a great challenge for us, just as the lake was a great challenge for Peter. What are we doing here on the fourth watch of the night? Where is Our Lord? What is He doing? Well, He's on the mountain praying.

That lake that was so close to Peter and so familiar; and on the other hand, it stirs up this element of nature that challenges him in a particular way.

Our Lord is sort of saying to us that we have to enter into this world. We have to immerse ourselves in the world. As ordinary lay people, God has given us a vocation to change the world, to influence it.

God said at the very beginning of Genesis, “Subdue the earth” by work, by study, by creative courage, by creative effort (Gen. 1:28).

Our Lord doesn't want us to shut ourselves up exclusively within the limits of the world around us or within the limits of the material world. We may find people around us are very materialistic, thinking about what money I can earn, or what things I can buy, or what things I can have.

Our Lord invites us to open our mind, our heart, to a different world—because we've been created for God. “Our hearts are restless, Lord, until they rest in you” (St. Augustine, Confessions, Lib 1,1-2,2.5,5: CSEL 33, 1-5).

It would be against man's nature to shut himself up in his own little selfish world, because our heart is created for something much greater, much bigger. We've been created in the image and likeness of God.

God doesn't want us to become a slave to material things, to systems, to easy success, to consumerism, to having, to spending. God doesn't want us to become a slave to our inclinations and our passions.

He wants us to defend ourselves against this danger. He wants to teach us how to use our freedom to seek the true good.

In some way, Our Lord is telling us not to be tempted with false values: half-truths, fascination with illusions, which later we leave behind with disappointments, or perhaps with a ruined life.

Our Lord wants us to look up to greater things. Look beyond the wind and the waves to realize there's somebody else there. It might seem like a ghost coming to us, but really, it is Christ, seeking us out as always. He’s always going to calm the storms of our life. He’s always going to be there for us.

He invites us to take better care of our prayer. To listen to the Word of God. To strengthen our bond with Christ through the sacraments of Penance and the Eucharist. To study our interior life and to take our own personal apostolate more seriously.

God has given me a mission like He gave the apostles in that boat. He's speaking to me. He wants me to look at the world around me in a different way. Let the scales fall from my eyes. See the great mission to which He has called me.

Pope St. John Paul II, when commenting on this passage, said, “This passage calls for new men and women who will make manifest in the midst of the world ‘the power and the wisdom’ (cf. 1 Cor. 1:22-25) of the Gospel of God in their own lives” (John Paul II, Homily, June 3, 1997).

God wants us to change, to be a person of virtue and of many other virtues, so that people can look at us and see the power and the wisdom of the Gospel.

With that, we can change the world—the world that “sometimes might seem like an untamable element, like a stormy sea” (ibid.).

To the apostles that night, it might have seemed that there was no solution to this storm and to these waves. “Fourth watch of the night” (Matt. 14:25)–this is unending. The world is very turbulent, but yes, with a “profound thirst and hunger for the Good News” (ibid.).

When we open our hearts to people and share with them the good things we have learned, the deeper truths about life, the purpose of our existence, we see them hungering for those answers, because “our hearts are restless, Lord, until they rest in you.”

Every one of those hearts of the people around us has a hunger for love, and “God is love” (1 John 4:8). We have that love, we have all the answers, we have the truth. We have to try and share it with other people.

It's the underlying message that Our Lord is trying to communicate to the apostles on this and on every other occasion.

He wants us to be in the world, and to be bearers of Christian faith and hope, by living love every day. We come to bring love to the people around us.

Those people around us need that love so much. Just like the apostles in the boat, in the midst of that storm—they needed Christ so much. And He came to them.

We could ask Our Lady to increase our faith—our faith in our calling as apostles, our faith in the purpose of our existence, of why we are here, and why God is active and present in every single moment of our life.

Mary, you were the woman of faith that was put into practice. Help us to put our faith into practice a little more, and to learn how to put it into practice like the apostles did on this occasion.

I thank you, my God, for the good resolutions, affections, and inspirations that you have communicated to me during this meditation. I ask your help to put them into practice. My Immaculate Mother, Saint Joseph, my father and lord, my guardian angel, intercede for me.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

GD