The End of Life

By Fr. Conor Donnelly

(Proofread)

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

My Lord and my God, I firmly believe that you are here, that you see me, that you hear me. I adore you with profound reverence. I ask your pardon for my sins and grace to make this time of prayer fruitful. My Immaculate Mother, Saint Joseph, my father and lord, my guardian angel, intercede for me.

I was on duty one night in a big hospital in Dublin many years ago. I got called over to the private nursing home beside the hospital, which was normally the domain of the consultants.

Normally we didn't go there, but they needed a doctor, and I got called over. I was led into a room where there was a man who was going to die that night.

He was dying of cancer. Maybe he was in his early 50s; he wasn't very elderly. His family was around his bed. When I came into the room, he asked them to leave.

Then he took hold of my wrist, and his hand was already cold and clammy. Death had already begun to creep into his body.

He looked at me with a look of terror in his eyes. He said, "Doctor, don't let me die."

It was one of the most awful things I've been confronted with—to see a man at the hour of his death in such terror.

This man was well-to-do. He was in the best hospital in the country. He had had a good life. But here he was at the hour of his death, realizing that all his treasures were in this world.

I suddenly realized the wisdom of the words of Our Lord in the Gospel where He says, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where dust and moth consume, and thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven” (cf. Matt. 6:19-20).

This man seemed to have no treasures in heaven. It was a big lesson, a lesson that everything in this world is passing; it's fleeting. And the moment of truth is the moment of our death.

Death is a consequence of sin. St. Paul says, "By the sin of one man, death entered the world" (cf. Rom. 5:12).

One of the most important things in our life is that we are ready and prepared for the moment of our death. We don't prepare at the last minute.

Last-minute deathbed conversions are extremely rare. Most people die as they have lived. If you think of all the people you know who may have died in the last few weeks, or days, or months, or years, practically all of them died as they lived.

The important thing is to try and live well—to live each day as if it was going to be our last, because someday God will call us.

He has warned us that He will come like a thief in the night (Matt. 24:43). It's a warning to be prepared.

There are many warnings that Our Lord gives in the course of His preaching that really are summed up in those words. “Be prepared” (Matt. 24:44). “Have your lamp burning brightly” (Luke 12:35). “Make sure your soul is ready” (cf. Matt. 26:41). “Use all the talents that he's given to you” (Matt. 25:21,23).

Use the time now that you have to make sure of your reward, because eternity is going to be a long time. God has given us a period of time. Some people get 20, 30, 40, 60, 80 years. Some babies just get a few hours.

But everybody gets their time, and everybody gets their talents with which to “go and trade until I come” (Luke 19:13). Our Lord in the Parable of the Talents invites us to be very wise.

Take oil in our lamps (Matt. 25:4), be prudent to foresee things. Five were prudent and five were imprudent (Matt. 25:2).

There was a priest ordained with me from another non-English speaking country whose English was not perfect and used to sometimes talk about ‘the stupid virgins.’

Scripture is a little more refined. It calls them imprudent. But really, they were stupid.

We have the chance of being either with the five prudent or with the five imprudent.

There seem to be an awful lot of imprudent people walking around this world who have not thought of their future, or planned for it, or used the means, or have given themselves solely to living the enjoyment of the moment.

The imprudent virgins didn't take oil in their lamps because maybe, they were too busy doing other things. They were partying. They were drinking. They were having a good time. They were enjoying the pleasures of life.

But they couldn't see past the end of their nose, whereas the wise ones took oil in their lamps.

Then the bridegroom was “a long time in coming” (Matt. 25:5). That phrase, a long time in coming, could be an image for the course of our lives—the decades that maybe God wants us to live on this planet. But of course, we're only passing through.

With the passage of years and decades, it's easy for us to become drowsy and sleep. That's why we need to get to a yearly retreat. We need to hear a monthly recollection.

We need to do some daily practices in our spiritual life, like spiritual reading and the Rosary, so that we work at our formation.

We remind ourselves. We train ourselves, like an athlete training for the marathon, that there is something up ahead. There is something that we have to try and earn and win.

God wants us to run the race in a certain way. St. Paul says, “I fought the good fight, I finished the race” (2 Tim. 4:7). I look forward to the prize.

How are you going to be at the hour of your death? Are you going to look back and say, ‘I'm sorry I didn't do this’ or ‘I'm sorry I didn't do that.’ ‘I'm sorry I didn't spend more time studying in the library.’

Or, as one 85-year-old man told me once, “I'm sorry I didn't do more for young people.” It's a rather interesting regret to have. I don't think he could have done more for young people, but he still had that regret. “I didn't do more for young people.”

What a great ideal to have in our life, to try and make this world a better place for young people.

We have opportunities to learn the lessons of life. It may be that some people never learn the lessons of life. “Wisdom sometimes comes with age, and sometimes age comes alone” (Oscar Wilde, A Book of Quotations).

In another country one time, I knew a man who was a Harvard graduate who never missed a monthly recollection. He was always there on time—and all the practices in his spiritual life: regular Confession, taking care of his formation—he was very attentive to all these things.

One day I asked him, ‘Just out of curiosity, what has given you the grace to be so careful in your spiritual life? You've got a Harvard degree. You could get any job in the world. You have an open door to many places that many other people don't have. Yet I see you taking very good care of your spiritual life.’

He said, ‘Father, when I was nine years of age, my father was dying of cancer.’ There were four or five brothers. ‘My mother had us standing around his bed as he was dying, holding hands and praying. I saw my father die.’

He said, ‘I learned the lessons of life young.’

I thought, ‘That must have been a painful experience, but what a great lesson to learn the lessons of life young, to learn about what is really important.’

Some people go through life, and they never really learn what is really important.

I remember talking to a man in another country once who had worked in a well-known multinational corporation for many decades, and then retired at 55 and said, ‘This organization was a godless organization.’

I don't know why he thought it should be a God-filled organization. He said, ‘I spent my whole professional life climbing to the top of the ladder. And then I got to the top of the ladder and I found there was no more ladder.’ Hello, hello. Surprise, surprise.

That man went into quite a deep depression for a couple of years, but then he discovered a spiritual life. He discovered his soul.

He spent the rest of his life taking care of his soul, and that opened up new horizons for him. It helped him understand what life was all about, and approached his death in a very good way.

Another man at 50 once in a retreat told me, ‘I'm the managing director of my organization; I've come to own the company. I'm on this board and that other board. I've earned all the money in life that I could possibly want to earn. I'm bored at 50; I have nothing else to do.’

That man managed to have a bit of a conversion to discover the spiritual realities, and to spend the rest of his life less on the material and professional things, and a bit more on the spiritual.

How are you going to be at the moment of your death when God decides to call you? Or if He visits you with some long illness that you never expected?

Or you might be bedridden. Or you thought, ‘This would never happen to me.’ Or you've seen it happen to other people and you thought, ‘That will never come my way.’

Often, “life strikes.” I heard somebody use that phrase once who had nothing remarkable in their spiritual life, but they used that phrase: “Life strikes.”

Sometimes life strikes, and we learn that all the things we've taken for granted were, in fact, wonderful gifts. We may not have used them well.

The moment of our death will be a moment of grace, a moment that God has planned for all eternity.

He said, “I've chosen you out before the foundation of the world” (cf. Eph. 1:4). If God has chosen us out before the foundation of the world, then He's also chosen the manner and the moment of our death. It's in His hands.

It's a very good reason occasionally to consecrate our death to God: ‘Lord, I give you that moment, but help me to use this moment now to prepare for that moment, to walk while we have the light.’

Our Lord says, “Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtakes you” (John 12:35). Another of those warnings.

“Use your time well” (Eph. 5:16) to grow as a Christian: to be holy, to practice the virtues, to be an excellent father or an excellent mother, because those opportunities won't always be with you, and on this, you will be judged.

“He who walks in the darkness does not know where he goes. While you have the light, believe in the light, that you may become children of light” (John 12:35-36).

Our Lord wants us to spread our light in many ways all over the place.

What is death? Death is the separation of the soul from the body” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, Point 1016).

It's not the end. It's not a punishment. It's not a catastrophe.

A Christian approach to death can be something very cheerful, happy. We can look forward to our death. It's a stepping stone to eternal happiness, as long as we have prepared for that eternal happiness.

With the teaching of Christ, we don't need to fear our death. Fear should be something far away from us.

We can abandon ourselves in the arms of Our Father God, like little children abandon themselves in the arms of their parents.

I've seen many, many people die beautiful, holy, peaceful deaths after very fulfilled lives, full of joy and happiness. It's a very beautiful thing.

God must be very happy with that type of death. We can try to use this opportunity well.

Sometimes we hear of sudden deaths. Every time you hear of a sudden death, it's like a little reminder to you. That could be you the next time. There but for the grace of God go I.

Or sometimes we hear of what the world might call a major disaster—an air crash, an earthquake, the collapse of a building, the World Trade Center in 2002 or 2001, whenever it was, twenty years ago.

We see these things as great tragedies. But often there are great spiritual lessons behind these realities. We see the fleeting nature of this life.

There was a psychiatrist who was interviewed in the Larry King Live show in the States, a few months after the collapse of the World Trade Center.

He was asked if he had any message for America tonight, and he said, ‘Yes, my message is for parents, and the message is: Take your children to church.’ He didn't say which church, but he just said, ‘Take your children to church.’

This man, who had counseled many people after the World Trade Center collapsed, who had counseled parents who had lost children; children who had lost parents; brothers, sisters; sisters, brothers; all the different permutations, combinations.

His message, after talking to all of these people, was for parents to take their children to church—in other words, teach them about the afterlife, about the life in the soul, about spiritual realities, teach them about death.

Because the key factor that helps people to move on in their life when something like this happens is belief in the afterlife. Belief in the soul. Belief in the spiritual nature of man. Belief in a loving Father God who calls us to Him in all sorts of moments.

Because when you're going from the 122nd floor to the second floor in a couple of seconds, it doesn't matter where you got your college degree, or what car you drive, or how big is your salary, or how much your friends think of you, or how many goals you can score.

None of that matters anymore. The only thing that matters is the state of your soul.

The contemplation of death can help us to make radical resolutions about our lives: to live well, to prepare for our death, maybe to talk to other people about death, like our children, so that when death comes, we’re not surprised, and they're not surprised.

They're able to handle it a bit better, because they understand what death is, because you've talked to them about it.

We know that after death there will be a judgment. There's a particular judgment that happens immediately after our death, where God has a quick look at our life, and sees whether we go to hell, to heaven, to purgatory (Catechism, Points 1021-1037).

Then at the end of time, there's the general judgment—a beautiful thing—when every single detail of our life will be taken into account, and the fruits that have come from all the good things that we've done (Catechism, Points 1038-1041).

If you’ve spent time trying to lead a good life, growing in your formation, trying to instill values in your children that maybe get passed on to your grandchildren—the whole train is set in motion in your family because of the values and principles that you've tried to live by. And that produces an enormous fruit possibly decades after your death.

At the general judgment that will accrue very much to you, to your benefit. It’s like money in the bank, because the judgments that come, particularly the general judgment, is like when we have to pay our income tax.

God has invested some talents in our life. And now we have to show Him what interest we made with those talents, how we got more talents, how we used the talents that He gave us to help other people.

That's why we examine our conscience to make sure we don't go astray. We keep ourselves on the right track and the right road. Follow the right signpost, so that at the time of the judgment, we can be well prepared.

I know a man in another country who was involved in fundraising for a center for young people, for their formation. He used to use this doctrine very effectively to make money.

He would tell his friends, “Look, what you pay for a brick in this particular center, and that center gets built, and it forms maybe future fathers or families and helps to build a more Christian society. And that goes on for decades and decades. And possibly that center is there, churning out these good fruits long after you have passed away.

“That brick that is there because of you—that's like money in the bank for you. It's earning interest. At the general judgment, you may be the participant in all sorts of wonderful things that God has worked in and through that particular place, with all the formation that it has imparted to so many people who have passed through.”

The doctrine of the judgment can be very useful. When we examine our conscience, we prepare ourselves for judgment.

We ask ourselves each day the questions that God will ask us on the last day, so that when that last day comes, it's as though we're prepared.

When Our Lord has revealed things to us in Scripture, it's like it's the greatest examination leak that has ever been made in the whole of human history.

We know what's coming up on the paper. We know what we're going to be asked. We know what God is going to expect from us, and we have this period now to prepare, to get ready.

Our Lord wants us to take that seriously. So, we need to make a reality scan.

There are all sorts of scans that you can have nowadays that look into every nook and cranny in every cell of your body. We need a reality scan that takes a good look at our soul—maybe, the deeper recesses of our soul.

Socrates says, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

If we don't examine ourselves and put things right, we’ll be very sorry when the moment comes on the last day and God asks us certain questions.

That's why death is the moment of truth: the truth about our life; the truth about how we have lived.

The time of earning has ended with death. We can no longer earn anymore from the good things that we have done. That's why we have to try and use our time well.

St. Josemaría says that “time is a treasure” (Josemaría Escrivá, Friends of God, Point 52). It's not just a good little thing that God has given to us. It's something very special.

Time is for eternity. It's for God. It's for grace. It's an instrument that He's placed in our hands to do something with it.

St. Josemaría says, "Youth gives it all it’s got. Use your youth, the time that God has given to you, your energy, your abilities.”

“Don’t wait to be old,” he says, “to be holy” (cf. J. Escrivá, The Forge, Point 113).

Holiness doesn't come with age. And that amount of time specifically being given to you, to you very particularly, so that you might use it well, is an instrument that we don't go looking far for its own sake.

We don’t say, ‘I have time, I have time, I have time.’

It’s like a pen. You don't say, ‘I have a pen. I have a pen. I have a pen.’

What are you going to do with the pen? Will you sign a check? Will you sign a contract? Will you give your autograph?

It’s what you do with the pen that’s what's important. And in the same way, what we do with our time is what's important. God has given it to us to do something with it.

Time comes, and then time goes. God has appointed time for every matter: “a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to reap what has been planted” (Eccles. 3:1-2)

A time to build up our family. A time to sacrifice ourselves for that family. A time to be cheerful. A time to be at home with our children, forming them to be great human persons. A time to build up the domestic Church.

There may be a time when all that may disappear. What a pity if we were to regret later on: ‘I didn't spend more time with my family.’ Or, ‘I didn't put more effort into this area of my life or that area.’ ‘I was concerned with silly things or superficial things or persons.’

Time is a flowing, divine treasure. It comes and then it goes, never to return again.

In Scripture, often we see a certain sense of urgency. “Mary went with haste into the hill country” (Luke 1:39). “The shepherds went with haste to Bethlehem” (cf. Luke 2:16).

People are in a hurry. They do things quickly. It's not just that it can be done at any time.

We have to try and walk while we have the light (John 12:35) with that sense of urgency. Time is holy because it belongs to God (Lev. 23:3). It doesn't belong to us.

We have very little control over time. Nobody can stretch it for us. ‘You have an exam tomorrow, but don't worry, I'll make the next 24 hours into three days so you can study a bit more.’

Nobody can do that for us. Somebody can multiply money for us, all right. You can put it into a bank and it can earn interest. But nobody can do that with time.

Time is more sacred. It belongs to God. We can't play around with time.

Therefore, to waste our time on silly things, or superficial things, must be something sinful that hurts God very much, when He's given us this great talent of time.

Therefore, it's good to plan your time; to have a to-do list; to know what your priorities are; to talk to somebody about how you use your time frequently, so that you come to be someone who makes better use of this great gift of time that God has given us, so that when it passes, we don't regret that ‘I didn't use it better’ but rather, ‘I had planned something to do, I got it done’—hopefully, in the shortest possible time, to be able to do other things.

The virtue of punctuality, in this regard, comes to be very important. It's a way whereby we respect other people's time.

If you're going to be late for an appointment, it's very good to send a message. In the era of social media, all sorts of messages are easy to send.

Even if we're two minutes late, say, ‘I'm sorry, I got delayed, I got stuck in traffic. I will be five minutes late, or two minutes late’—whatever it is.

That statement, in itself, transmits the message that ‘I respect your time. I respect your dignity because you can use your time well, this time that I've given to you, that possibly I might otherwise have caused you to waste.’

It's a great detail of charity, of justice—a very good sign about somebody who knows the value of time and has the courtesy to inform other people when they're going to be late.

It also means that we make a decision in our life never to be late—to be super punctual, which means arriving not just on time, but being at the place five minutes before anything is due to happen, being there peacefully, waiting for things to start.

People, instead of being upset with us because we're late—we're always there early, not just sometimes, but always, because we know the value of time. We know the value of other people's time.

In the first phrase of The Way, St. Josemaría says, “Don't let your life be barren. Blaze a trail.”

It's like a trumpet call to action, to use your time well.

God wants us to sanctify our time, to get great benefit from it.

That reality of death, no matter when it may come, can lead us to make those serious decisions to use our time well.

Spend time on what's important. Improve ourselves.

I was talking to a young person recently who had a problem with school fees, as many people do. He wanted to be able to finish school, he said, ‘to do something with my life.’

It's great to hear people talking like that: ‘I want to do something with my life.’

I want to use my life well. I don't want to die a waster, because I have wasted my time. I don't want to die with regrets about the gift of life that God has given to me.

I want to use it well. I want to go places. I want to make my talents yield their abundant fruit.

Death is not something negative, and judgment. It can be something enormously positive that spurs us on to action, to make those radical resolutions to use our time well, and to help many other people around us to use their time well also.

Our Lady, who went with haste into the hill country, will give us that sensitivity for this gift of God, so that we might always use it well.

In that way, she will help us, with her spouse, to be very well prepared for that death, whenever it may come.

I thank you, my God, for the good resolutions, affections, and inspirations that you have communicated to me during this meditation. I ask your help to put them into practice. My Immaculate Mother, Saint Joseph, my father and lord, my guardian angel, intercede for me.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

PKN