St. Augustine
By Fr. Conor Donnelly
(Proofread)
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. My Lord and my God, I firmly believe that you are here, that you see me, that you hear me. I adore you with profound reverence. I ask your pardon for my sins and grace to make this time of prayer fruitful. My immaculate mother, Saint Joseph, my father and lord, my guardian angel, intercede for me.
Augustine was born in Tagaste, northern Africa in 354. After a tumultuous youth, he converted at the age of 33 and was baptized in Milan by St. Ambrose.
On returning to his homeland, he was chosen to be the Bishop of Hippo and developed a broad and deep apostolate through his preaching and his doctrinal writings in defense of the faith. As the head of his flock for 34 years, he was a model of service to all through a life of constant oral and written catechesis. He is one of the greatest Fathers of the Church, and he died in the year 430.
He received a Christian education from his mother, St. Monica. Though there were years during which he lived far removed from true doctrine, as a consequence of her maternal solicitude he always kept in mind the memory of Christ, whose name, he says, “I drank from my mother’s breast” (Augustine, Confessions, 3,4,8).
When he returned to the Catholic faith after many years, he affirmed that he came back “to the religion imbued in him from childhood, that penetrated the very marrow of my being” (Augustine, Against the Academics, 2,2,5).
In countless cases, primary education has been the firm foundation of the faith for many to return to, after perhaps living very tragically alienated from God.
Love for the truth, ever present in the soul of Augustine, is especially apparent in some of his classic works (idem., Confessions, 3,4,7). Yet despite this love, early on, he fell into serious doctrinal errors.
Scholars point to three directions of his straying. John Paul II said, “First, a mistaken account of the relationship between reason and faith, so that one need choose between the two of them; second, in the supposed contrast between Christ and the Church, with the consequent conviction that it is necessary to abandon the Church in order to adhere more fully to Christ; and third, the desire to free oneself from the consciousness of sin, not by means of its remission through the working of grace, but by means of the denial of the involvement of human responsibility in the sin itself” (John Paul II, Apostolic Letter, Agustinum Hipponensem, I, August 28, 1986).
After years of seeking the truth without finding it, through the grace his mother constantly implored, he became convinced that only in the Catholic Church was he to find truth and peace of soul. He came to realize that faith and reason are mutually destined to help lead man to the knowledge of the truth, each in its own way (Augustine, Against the Academics, 3,20,43).
He concluded that for faith to be sure, the divine authority of Christ found in Sacred Scripture and guaranteed by the Church was required (ibid., Confessions, 6,5,7).
We too receive many graces in our intelligence, to see clearly and to learn revealed doctrine in depth. We have abundant assistance for our will also, to maintain a continual state of conversion, so as to be a little closer to Our Lord each day.
In The Forge we are told, “For a son of God, every day should be an occasion for renewal, knowing for sure that with the help of grace we will reach the end of the road, which is Love.
“That is why if you begin and begin again, you are doing well. If you have the will to win, if you struggle, then, with God’s help, you will conquer! There will be no difficulty that you cannot overcome!” (Josemaría Escrivá, The Forge, Point 344).
God will never withhold His help. If we ever have the misfortune to separate ourselves from Him in any serious way, He will await our return, as did the father of the prodigal son, and as Our Lord awaited the return of St. Augustine for so many years.
Although Augustine saw the truth clearly, he still had not reached the end of the road. He sought excuses to avoid taking the final step.
For him, this would involve a radical surrender to God, the abjuring, through the predilection of Christ, of a human love (cf. Augustine, Confessions, 6,15,25).
He well knew that “he was not prohibited from marrying, but he did not want to be a Catholic Christian in any other way except by renouncing the excellent ideal of family in order to dedicate himself with ‘all’ his soul to the love and possession of wisdom…
“He accused himself with great shame: ‘Cannot you do what these youths and maidens do?’ A deep and painful struggle ensued, which was brought to its close by divine grace once again (John Paul II, loc. cit.).
He took the final step in the summer of the year 386. Nine months later, in the evening between April 24 and 25 of the following year, during the Easter Vigil, he received baptism from St. Ambrose.
Augustine relates the serene but radical decision that completely changed his life: “We went to my mother,” he says of himself, his friend Alypius, and his son Adeodatus, “and told her the decision we had taken. She was overjoyed. We recounted how it all happened, and she rejoiced all the more and began to praise God, ‘because you, Lord, grant more than we ask and understand’ (Eph. 3:20).
“She saw that through her sighs and moving tears you had granted more than she had asked for with respect to me. In fact, you brought me so completely back to you that I no longer sought wife or career in this world” (Augustine, Confessions, 8,12,30). Christ entirely filled his heart.
St. Augustine never forgot this memorable night. “We received baptism,” he recorded years later, “and all uneasiness over our past life was dissipated. I could not relish enough in those days your tremendous and profound plans for the salvation of the human race. He adds, ‘How many tears I shed, listening to your hymns and canticles resonate sweetly in your Church’” (ibid., 9,6,14).
The life of the Christian—our life—entails frequent conversions. We often have need to play the part of the prodigal son to return to the house of Our Father, who always awaits our return (Luke 15:11-32).
All the saints knew of profound interior changes that drew them in a renewed, more sincere, and humble way to God. In order to return to the Lord, it is necessary to overcome our weaknesses and sins.
St. Augustine often liked to recall his conversion, when years later he was preaching to the faithful. He said, “‘I acknowledge my guilt; my sin is always before me’ (Ps. 51:3). The one who prays in this manner examines his own conscience rather than that of other people. And he does so in a profound way. Because he does not forgive himself, he can humbly ask for forgiveness” (idem., Sermon 19).
Confident of obtaining divine mercy, we shouldn’t worry about always having to begin and begin again.
In The Forge we are told, “All contrite, you told me: ‘How much wretchedness I see in myself! I am so stupid and I am carting around such a weight of concupiscence that it is as though I had never really done anything to get closer to God. Lord, here I am beginning, beginning, always just beginning! I will try, however, to push forward each day with all my heart.’ —May he bless those efforts of yours” (J. Escrivá, The Forge, Point 378).
St. Augustine says, “‘Search for the Lord, and your soul shall live’ (Ps. 105:4). May we go out to meet him, and may we continue to seek him after finding him. So that we may search for him, he withdraws from view that we may keep on looking, even after finding him. He is immeasurably bountiful. He satisfies our desires according to our own capacity to seek him” (Augustine, Commentary on St. John’s Gospel).
St. Augustine’s life was a continual seeking for God. Ours must grow in this way too. The more we find and possess Him, the greater will be our capacity to continue growing in His love.
Conversion brings with it a renunciation of the state of sin—any disposition not in accord with the teachings of Christ and His Church—and a sincere turning to God.
We should frequently ask Our Lady to grant us the grace to give importance even to what seems small, but separates us from God, so that we can uproot it and throw it far from us.
The way of conversion always begins with faith. Moved by grace, the Christian looks on the infinite mercy of God and recognizes his own fault or his lack of correspondence with what God has been expecting of him. At the same time, a firmer hope and surer love are born within.
We are told in St. Mark: “Jesus came into Galilee preaching the gospel of God and saying, ‘The time is fulfilled and the kingdom of heaven is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel’” (Mark 1:14–15).
“The kingdom is thus God’s effective but mysterious action in the universe and in the tangle of human events” (John Paul II, General Audience, Point 2, December 6, 2000).
We can think of the mustard seeds of truth, of doctrine, of love, sown by St. Augustine, instrument of God, which have come down to us through the centuries, like small mustard seeds (cf. Matt. 13:31-32).
Our Lord in His kingdom “overcomes the resistance of evil with patience, not with arrogance and outcry. … Our Lord compares the kingdom of God to a mustard seed, the smallest of all seeds, but destined to become a leafy tree, or to the seed a man scatters on the ground: ‘he sleeps and rises night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows, he knows not how’ (Mark 4:27)” (John Paul II, ibid.).
We could think of all the fruits that have come from the teachings of St. Augustine over the centuries: the education of minds, the broadening of minds, the formation, the bringing of minds up onto a whole new level to find God in the ordinary things. We ask Our Lord that we might continue that great apostolic river of truth.
“The kingdom is grace, God’s love for the world, the source of our serenity and trust. Our Lord says, ‘Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom’” (Luke 12:32).
God brings the kingdom to us in all sorts of ways. “Fears, worries, and nightmares fade away, because in the person of Christ, the kingdom of God is in our midst.
“But man is not a passive witness to God’s entrance into history. Jesus asks us ‘to seek’ actively ‘the kingdom of God and his righteousness’ and to make this search our primary concern (Matt. 6:33).
“To those who ‘supposed that the kingdom of God was to appear immediately’ (Luke 19:11), he prescribed an active attitude instead of passive waiting, telling them the parable of the ten talents, to be used productively (cf. Luke 19:12-27).
“St. Paul states that ‘the kingdom of God does not mean food and drink but righteousness’ (Rom. 14:17) above all, and urges the faithful to put their members at the service of righteousness for sanctification’ (cf. Rom. 6:13,19).
“The human person is [thus] called to work with his hands, his mind, and heart for the coming of God’s kingdom into the world. This is especially true of those who are called to the apostolate and are, as St. Paul says, ‘fellow workers for the kingdom of God’ (Col. 4:11), but it is also true of every human person (ibid., Point 3).
“Those who have chosen the way of the Gospel Beatitudes and live as ‘the poor in spirit,’ detached from material goods, in order to raise up the lowly of the earth from the dust of their humiliation, will enter the kingdom of God. ‘Has not God chosen those who are poor in this world,’ asked St. James in his Letter, ‘to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which he has promised to those who love him?’ (James 2:5).
“Those who lovingly bear the sufferings of life will enter the kingdom. We are told in the Acts: ‘Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God’ (Acts 14:22), where God himself ‘will wipe away every tear…and death shall be no more; neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore’ (Rev. 21:4).
“The pure of heart who choose the way of righteousness, in conformity to the will of God, will enter the kingdom. St. Paul says, ‘Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers…, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God’ (1 Cor. 6:9-10, cf. 15:50; Eph. 5:5)” (ibid., Point 4).
“All the just of the earth, including those who do not know Christ and his Church, who, under the influence of grace, seek God with a sincere heart,” says Lumen gentium (cf. Vatican II, Lumen gentium, Point 16), “are thus called to build the kingdom of God by working with the Lord, who is the first and decisive builder.
“We must entrust ourselves to his hands, to his Word, to his guidance, like inexperienced children who find security only in the Father. ‘Whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child,’ Our Lord said, ‘shall not enter into it’ (Luke 18:17).
“With this thought we can make our own petition: ‘Thy kingdom come!’ (Matt. 6:10)” (John Paul II, ibid., Point 5).
We could unite ourselves today in our prayer to the prayer of St. Augustine in heaven, asking for that kingdom to come, asking for the present Holy Father, for the fruitfulness of this Pontificate.
“It is a petition that has risen to heaven many times in human history like a great breath of hope: ‘May the peace of your kingdom come to us’ (Dante, Purgatorio). A petition which turns our gaze to Christ’s return and nourishes the desire for the final coming of God’s kingdom.
“However, this desire does not distract the Church from her mission in this world, but commits her to it even more strongly (cf. Catechism of the Catholic Church, Point 2818), in waiting to be able to cross the threshold of the kingdom, whose seed and beginning is the Church (cf. Lumen gentium, Point 5), when it comes to the world in its fullness.
“St. Peter says, ‘There will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ’ (2 Pet. 1:11)” (John Paul II, ibid.).
“The reading of the Gospel of St. Matthew can lead us back to the parable of the sower (Matt. 13:1-23). … we can [read and] reread the words of the Gospel over and over again and still find new light:
“So the sower comes out to sow. As he sows, some seeds fall on the path, some on rocky ground, some among thorns, some finally on good soil, and only [these] last gave good fruit” (John Paul II, Homily, Point 3, August 23, 1997).
We could think of all the sowing, of the seeds of doctrine and of holiness by St. Augustine, and all the fruits that still have to come.
“Our Lord did not limit himself to presenting us with a parable; he explained it. … The seeds that fell on the path represent those who hear the word of the Kingdom of God but do not understand it. The Evil One comes and takes away what has been sown (cf. Matt. 13:19) in their hearts. The Evil One often uses this tactic and he tries to prevent the seed from germinating in people’s hearts. This is the first comparison.
“The second is the seed fallen on rocky ground. This ground represents the people who hear the word and welcome it immediately with joy, but they do not have roots in them and are inconstant. When tribulation or persecution comes because of the word, they fall away immediately” (cf. Matt. 13:20-21).
”[What] psychological insight in this comparison made by Christ! We know [well] from our experience and the experience of others the inconstancy of people deprived of the roots which would enable the word to grow!
“The third case is the seed fallen among thorns. Christ explains that he is thinking of those who hear the word, but who, because of the worries of the world and their attachment to riches, stifle the word so that it does not bear fruit” (cf. Matt. 13:22).
“Finally, the seed fallen on fertile ground represents those who hear the word and understand it, and the word [bears] fruit in them (cf. Matt. 13:23). All of this magnificent parable speaks to us today as it spoke to the listeners of Our Lord two thousand years ago” (ibid.).
We could ask St. Augustine that we might “become fertile ground which truly receives the Gospel and bears fruit” (ibid.).
“Bearing in mind that the human soul hesitates to welcome the word of God, we can address ourselves to the Holy Spirit with that famous prayer:
Come, Holy Spirit,
fill the hearts of your faithful.
Enkindle in us the fire of your love.
Send forth your spirit and we shall be created,
and you will renew the face of the earth.
“Visit the souls of those who belong to you.
Fill them with your grace from on high,
The hearts which you have made. …
“Spirit of God, make us ready to receive your visit. Make faith in the word which saves grow in [each one of] us. Be the living source of the hope which blossoms in our lives.
“Be in us the breath of love which transforms us, and the fire of charity which impels us to give ourselves to the service of our brothers and sisters.
“You whom the Father has sent, teach us all things, and make us grasp the richness of the word of Christ. Strengthen our inner being, make us pass from fear to confidence, so that the praise of your glory may burst forth in us.
“Be the light that fills people’s hearts and gives them the courage to seek you unceasingly. You, Spirit of truth, lead us to the entire Truth, so that we may firmly proclaim the mystery of the living God who is active in our history. Enlighten us as to the ultimate meaning of this history.
“Take away the unfaithfulness which separates us from you. Cast out from us all resentment and division. Make the spirit of brotherhood and unity grow in us, so that we may know how to build the city of man in the peace and solidarity that come from God.
“Help us to discover that love is the most intimate part of divine life, and that we are called to share [in] it. Teach us how to love one another as the Father has loved us by giving us his Son (cf. John 3:16).
“May all peoples know you, God, Father of all, whom your Son Jesus has come to reveal to us, you who have sent us your Spirit in order to give us the fruits of redemption!” (ibid., Point 4).
“The parables of Our Lord can often have more than one meaning. Sometimes there is an obvious interpretation, which the believer can see immediately. Other times there is a hidden meaning which takes a little time to discover. When there is more than one character in the parable, it is a good idea to examine oneself by comparison with each character in the parable” (Dominican Friars Ireland, The Mustard Seed).
The parables of the Kingdom refer to the Kingdom of God, and “the first interpretation is that the ‘Kingdom of God’ is not a thing, but rather a person. This person is Jesus Christ, who is God. The second is that the ‘Kingdom of God’ is in the heart, if God reigns within. The third identifies the Church as the ‘Kingdom of God.’
“All three of the interpretations of the term ‘Kingdom of God’ are useful for understanding these two parables.
“To do this one can consider the first and third interpretations together. The Church is the Mystical Body of Christ. [This] is why Jesus could say to St. Paul on the road to Damascus, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?’ (Acts 9:4).
”[However,] the Church is more than what is visible on earth. Traditionally the Church has understood herself as having three parts, The Church Triumphant in heaven, the Church Suffering in purgatory, and the Church Militant on earth. These three form the mystical body of Christ.
“The first parable, understood with the first and third interpretation of the term ‘Kingdom of God’ in mind, expresses the certainty that the Church will grow. It is inevitable that the Church will grow. The word of God is guaranteed to be fruitful once it is sown in the world.
“This is a stronger saying than the promise of Jesus that the gates of hell cannot prevail over the Church (Matt. 16:18). That promise of Jesus is meant to strengthen our faith in the Church, when the situation seems bleak for the Church Militant on earth. When the Church Militant is suffering, the choirs in heaven that were intended for the fallen angels are being filled with souls.
“The second parable of the mustard seed expresses the small beginnings of God’s kingdom on earth. Jesus ascended to heaven leaving a tiny band of followers to take on one of the great empires yet seen on the earth. Who in that time could have foreseen the Church spread across the whole world, two thousand years later?...
“The parable declares that the Church will become large enough for the birds of the air to come and nest in her shade (cf. Matt. 13:32)c. This applies to the rest of the world. The people whom the charity of the Church reaches are everywhere. The charity of the members of the Mystical Body of Christ has no limit and there is now no country in the world which has not people helped by the generosity of the people of God.
“Another understanding referred to by Pope Benedict is that the Kingdom of God can also be said to be within the heart. [This is] why St. Paul could say that it was not Paul who lived, but rather Christ living within Paul (cf. Gal. 2:20).
“The first parable is the seed sown, which will become fully grown grain. St. Gregory the Great says…the seeds are our good intentions, these eventually bring forth the blade which symbolizes repentance (cf. Gregory the Great, Homilies on Ezekiel, Book II).
“Ultimately the fully grown grain represents charitable works. When fully grown and virtuous, we are ready to be ‘harvested,’ that is, made ready for heaven. When we interpret the parable this way, [let us not] forget that good intentions are not enough. It must be remembered that it is Christ who is the gardener of our souls. It is his grace which causes our growth in virtue.
“The parable of the mustard seed seen in the light of the spiritual growth of the soul is the description of a saint. We cannot begin to understand what we will be like when we get to heaven. It is easy to forget that it is our destiny to become saints.
“In heaven we will have been purified by our spiritual growth here on earth and probably also by the fires of purgatory. There will be no [sinful] obstacles to our love of God in heaven. We cannot begin to imagine what that will be like.
“These parables form a beautiful reminder of God’s promise for us today. If times things seem hard for God’s Church here on earth [let us] refused to be daunted by the world and by persecution. There is no servant greater than the master (John 13:16) and if the world has hated us, it has hated Jesus first (John 15:18). However, God so loved the world that he gave his only Son for its redemption (cf. John 3:16).
“So let us try to allow Jesus to grow in our hearts, and in this way we will be witnesses to the spread of God’s Kingdom in our time” (Dominican Friars Ireland, loc. cit.).
As we finish our prayer today, “may we not forget that to Jesus we always go, and to him we always return, through Mary,” we’re told in The Way (cf. J. Escrivá, The Way, Point 495).
“Turn to Our Lady and ask her—as a token of her love for you—for the gift of contrition. Ask that you may be sorry, with the sorrow of Love, for all your sins and for the sins of all men and women throughout the ages.
“And [with] the same disposition, be bold enough to add: ‘Mother, my life, my hope, lead me by the hand,’” as you led St. Augustine. “And if there is anything in me [which is] displeasing to my Father God, grant that I may see it, so that, between the two of us we may uproot it.
“Do not be afraid to continue, saying to her: ‘O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary, pray for me, that by fulfilling the most lovable Will of your Son, I may be worthy to obtain and enjoy what Our Lord Jesus has promised’” (J. Escrivá, The Forge, Point 161).
May we not forget that Our Lord patiently expects our coming back to Him again and again. He calls us to a life of fuller faith and dedication. May our arrival in His presence not be delayed.
I thank you, my God, for the good resolutions, affections, and inspirations that you have communicated to me during this meditation. I ask your help to put them into practice. My Immaculate Mother, Saint Joseph, my father and lord, my guardian angel, intercede for me.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
EW