Rejection

By Fr. Conor Donnelly

(Proofread)

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

My Lord and my God, I firmly believe that you are here, that you see me, that you hear me. I adore you with profound reverence. I ask your pardon for my sins and grace to make this time of prayer fruitful. My Immaculate Mother, Saint Joseph, my father and lord, my guardian angel, intercede for me.

We are told in today's Gospel, “Now it happened that as the time drew near for him to be taken up, he resolutely turned his face towards Jerusalem and sent messengers ahead of him. They set out, and they went into a Samaritan village to make preparations for him, but the people would not receive him because he was making for Jerusalem.

“Seeing this, the disciples James and John said: ‘Lord, do you want us to call down fire from heaven to burn them up?’ But he turned and rebuked them, and they went on to another village” (Luke 9:51-56).

This passage tells the story of rejection. Our Lord specifically sent His messengers there to this town to make preparations, but the people would not receive Him.

One of the themes that runs through Our Lord's life is that theme of rejection.

Rejection in Bethlehem—there was no room at the inn. Rejection in many moments of His public life, particularly in Jerusalem at the end.

We can learn a lot from the rejection of Christ. Our Lord takes those rejections in stride.

He's not put off. He's not dumbfounded. He doesn't stop immediately doing what He's doing as though He cannot go on. He sort of takes those as little blows along the way.

Our Lord teaches us how to handle situations where we may be rejected, or not appreciated, perhaps by friends. Maybe they let us down.

We might be excluded from some group. We might not be invited when we would have thought we should have been invited, or we were expecting to be invited and we weren't invited.

We end up with those unpleasant feelings: feelings of rejection, of not being appreciated, not being wanted, not being loved.

Our Lord has been through all of those situations before. But He takes these things in stride, as though they are basic matters of ordinary administration. Things to be expected a little bit in this life. He's not stumped by them.

When those occasions come along, we have to try and follow Christ. Learn how to handle those situations. Offer them to Him.

If God permits periods of rejection or failure, it's because He also draws something from it. These can be periods of great spiritual bonanza, when we grow in our unity to the Cross.

We grow in the virtues of faith, of trust, of hope, of abandonment. Or when we accept that cross of rejection in small ways, in the little things of each day. Or make an act of acceptance of the Will of God.

“Lord, if this is your will, then it's my will also” (cf. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, Point 762). I offer you these feelings. I offer you this moment. Teach me to laugh at myself a little more.

Many of the saints in the course of their life experienced all sorts of rejections. The life of St. Josemaría is very often a continual story of rejection. Rejection by this world.

“Do not labor for the food which perishes, but for that which endures unto life everlasting” (John 6:27).

It's a reminder to us that this world is passing. It's not of any value. We don't need to be esteemed in this world or appreciated or understood, because we're created for higher things.

We don't have to worry about experiences of being misunderstood. ‘Nobody understands me.’ ‘No one seems to know what I'm talking about.’ ‘Nobody knows what I'm going through.’

Christ knows what you're going through. He knows each one of those wounds or those feelings, because He has all those wounds Himself.

Fulton Sheen says, “There's eternal freshness in the wounds of Christ.”

For those moments or periods or experiences where we might experience rejection, we can find our solace, our consolation, in entering into the wounds of Christ crucified.

The Holy Spirit is there. Love is there. That's where we find our consolation, our joy, our peace, our serenity.

James and John reacted rather quickly to this lack of welcome on the part of the people. “Lord, do you want us to call down fire from heaven to burn them up?”

They're still at the drama stage. They're very convinced of the power of God. They want to resort to violence.

Of course, this is exactly what Our Lord has told them not to do. “He turned and rebuked them. And they went on to another village.” They learned from the experience.

Later on, they are going to be the apostles going from town to town and village to village, and they also are going to be experiencing rejection.

We shouldn't be surprised if the Church and her teaching is not understood by the world. She's left a bit of a lone traveler along the pathway of life.

Do the things that the Holy Father says seem to fall on deaf ears? Are the doctrines that the Church has worked out over twenty centuries—the basic truths about the human person, about life, about the family, about marriage—they seem to be thrown out the window by this world.

Never mind. Human hearts understand the truth. There are natural truths that every human person comes to realize with the passage of time, sometimes to their cost. These are the things that last through the centuries.

We don't have to worry when we see that the Church is rejected. The world has been rejecting Christ for twenty centuries. It's part of His identity.

Our Lord invites us sometimes to take up that cross of rejection.

“After this, Jesus traveled round Galilee; he could not travel round Judea, because the Jews were seeking to kill him” (John 7:1).

Sometimes that rejection took on a pretty acute manifestation. The history of the Church is full of martyrs’ total rejection.

“As the Jewish feast of Shelters drew near…however, after his brothers had left for the festival, he went up as well, not publicly, but secretly” (John 7:2,10).

For three years, Our Lord went around publicly proclaiming His doctrine. But there came a moment when the atmosphere was so hostile, so lacking in welcome, so full of rejection, hatred, bitterness, that with great prudence He didn't go out publicly, but secretly.

This wasn't the moment to make noise. There may be periods when we have to just be silent and pray.

Let the difficulties pass. Let the plans of God work themselves out. “Truth is the daughter of time” (Francis Bacon).

“Meanwhile, some of the people of Jerusalem were saying, ‘Isn't this the man they want to kill? And here he is, speaking openly, and they have nothing to say to him! Can it be true the authorities have recognized that he is the Christ? Yet we all know where he comes from, but when Christ appears no one will know where he comes from.’

“Then, as Jesus was teaching in the temple, he cried out: ‘You know me, and you know where I came from. Yet I have not come of my own accord: but he who sent me is true. You do not know him, but I know him, because I have my being from him and it was he who sent me’” (John 7:25-29).

At the appropriate time, at certain moments, Our Lord speaks the truth even though He knows it's not going to be well received.

I read somewhere once that often the greatest charity is to confront people with the truth. Sometimes that may be our role, because we are placed in that position. Are there some friends that we have to communicate some home truths?

St. Josemaría talks about “the words that you whisper into the ear of your wavering friend” (J. Escrivá, The Way, Point 973).

Possibly, that wavering friend is not very open to the truth. But maybe they need to hear it. Everybody needs to hear the truth from time to time, even though there are unpleasant truths, or the truth may hurt.

“They wanted to arrest him then, but because his hour had not yet come no one laid a hand on him” (John 7:30).

The consequences of that rejection take time to work themselves out.

In another moment, we are told, “When Jesus had said these things, he was troubled in spirit. He testified and said, ‘Amen, Amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me’” (John 13:21). Jesus was rejected by some of His closest chosen friends.

His heart was pierced by a lance on the Cross. We could say that there must have been many other times in His life when His heart was also pierced by a lance—a spiritual lance of pain, of sorrow, of disappointment.

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem…, how often I would have gathered you…as a hen gathers her brood…, but you did not want” (Matt. 23:37).

The sorrowful Heart of Christ has almost to weep for the lack of acceptance that His words are receiving.

There may be many moments, small moments in our life when our witty remark is not appreciated. ‘People don't laugh at my jokes. The thing that I find hilarious is met with stone faces.’

Or, ‘My great idea is rejected. I thought I had the most wonderful idea that I've ever had in my whole life, and nobody shows the slightest interest or enthusiasm for it.’

Or, ‘My hard work and my effort are not noticed. People seem just to pass by.’

Or, ‘I'm ignored in some moment. People come and shake the hand of the person beside me and the person next to me, but they've sort of passed over me.’

But yet we know that Christ sees everything.

Not too long ago, somebody told me this: “I think that person doesn't like me, because in that liturgical celebration, they gave the kiss of peace to that person, and the kiss of peace to the next person, and they skipped over me.”

Then at another similar liturgical celebration, the same thing happened to the same person. “And then there was a reception after that Mass, and this person was handing out cake, and they handed cake to this person, and to the next person, and they skipped me. So now I have proof. That person doesn't like me.”

There can be all sorts of funny little things that happen for all sorts of funny little reasons, and we don't have to take them in a super personal way, as though an arrow has been pierced through my heart forever and forever and forever.

There might be some little other reason, or there might be some little thing.

They can't pass cake to everybody, maybe they can't give the kiss of peace to everybody, so some people have to be skipped or something. But we don't have to get up in a big hullabaloo about it.

So there may be periods when we have to handle situations of apparent rejection. It may not be real, because maybe the person can't shake hands with everybody, or for this reason or for that reason. It's apparent, but it's not real. Our imagination can play tricks with us.

The devil can get in there and conjure up all sorts of things as well. ‘This happened because of that, or this is because of that thing that I said, and now they're behaving in this way.’

We can conjure up all sorts of amazing puzzles and mazes which have no foundation in reality. They just come from some little situation. Or, ‘Here I have my wonderful talents, and nobody sees my talent.’

You may have seen this program that's on TV, Britain's Got Talent or American Idol. I think there was something similar here in Kenya.

A couple of years ago in the American version, they used to have cameras backstage, and also, they would interview people when they were coming out after their auditions.

I saw one adjudicator telling one contestant once: “You have the worst voice that I have ever heard in my whole life!”

Then the person goes out the back exit, and they have sort of an exit interview, and they say, “These people don't recognize talent when they see it!”

They’re very sure of their own talents, when they've just been told they have the worst voice that they've ever heard in their whole life.

So, it can happen that our talents are not recognized, because maybe, we don't see the truth, that we thought we had this wonderful talent, but perhaps that's not the reality.

Sometimes that rejection can have the voice of the Holy Spirit behind it.

If you were brought down to brass tacks, that is not your talent. You have talent in other areas. You're not good at that particular thing that you thought you were so great at.

Sometimes we need to be rejected in certain areas to be told the truth.

Don't put all your heart and soul and mind into that particular thing, because you're not going to get anywhere. You're much better at this type of thing, no matter how much your imagination or your desires might lead you in other directions.

The spiritual direction we get is enormously helpful in that sense, and beneficial.

We may need to hear words of rejection at times. ‘Better you don't do that thing. Better you don't put your effort into that thing. Maybe that initiative is not the thing we need at this particular moment. Maybe in some other moment.’

There are times when Our Lord moves around the place a lot and says a lot of things. But there are times when He also keeps silent. It's not the right moment.

“Then one of the Twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said to them, ‘What will you give me, and I will deliver him unto you?’ But they appointed him thirty pieces of silver” (Matt. 26:14-15).

Our Lord was rejected for that particular amount. A concrete price was put on His head. The level of rejection went very far, very material, very mercenary.

Often Our Lord experiences or goes through these periods of rejection with silence. Jesus autem tacebat. We can learn a lot from the silence of Christ (Mark 14:61; Matt. 26:63, 27:12-14; Luke 23:9; John 19:9).

“The suffering of silence,” says Cardinal Sarah, “can also be God's hallmark in the soul” (Robert Cardinal Sarah, The Power of Silence, Point 97, quoting Dom Augustin Guillerand, Silence cartusien).

If we experience some rejection, some unpleasant feelings, we could get angry, we could lose our temper, we could scream. We could demand justice or attention or whatever it is that we're looking for. But often Christ invites us just to be silent.

We might experience rejection in ordinary situations.

Some person at a checkout in a supermarket might look the other way when we come, or somebody serving us in some shop might be rude, or undignified, or do something that makes us feel bad, or tell us they don't have this particular thing that we're looking for and say it in a bad tone.

There might be plenty of people in the world who got up on the wrong side of their bed this morning. But that can't necessarily throw us off our perch.

If those things come our way, then Our Lord invites us just to suffer in silence. Turn the other cheek. Go on our way.

“They went on to another village.” We're not told they stood there, and they didn't bring down fire from heaven, but boy, they gave them a tongue lashing. Or that they told them, We're never going to come to this village again…or, we're going to curse you from a height. No, they just went on to another village.

Silence. Peacefulness. Don't allow themselves to get ruffled because somebody said something a bit funny.

Lord, give me the grace to react with calm, with serenity, with peace, and often with silence.

By doing so, we can turn around those situations—situations where somebody might have said something that later they regret. The tone or the atmosphere isn't quite right.

Sometimes with our supernatural reactions we can make it right. We can decrease a certain tension or stress that may be in the atmosphere with a diffusing word. Or with our smile. Or with our silence.

So, we don't give importance to that particular thing. We go on our way.

“In Gethsemane,” says Cardinal Sarah, “when the end is near and the apostles are sleeping, incapable of understanding in depth the drama that is playing out, he remains one last night in silence, in prayer. In his final moments, nocturnal silence is Christ's companion” (Ibid., Point 200).

There's a great whirlwind of misunderstanding and rejection around Him. It's coming to a core in Gethsemane.

It's all about to break out into action, the action of the Passion—the greatest expression of rejection of this world: the Cross.

Right beside Him are those people who should be such a support and yet the apostles are sleeping, “incapable of understanding…the drama that is being played out.”

It is the moment when Christ is most misunderstood. Not appreciated. And yet He spends the night in silence. Silent prayer.

Jesus, may you teach me to take comfort in my prayer, to seek your company in the tabernacle, to look to your wounds on the Cross for all my little sufferings. so that I can find my peace there, and draw my peace from there, to give it to the rest of the world, so that I turn those situations around.

The experiences of the moments of rejection become periods of spiritual bonanza which I can offer for souls—bring great things forward because of that silent suffering with you.

Cardinal Sarah says, “For mankind, Christ's silent recollection is a great lesson.”

Our Lord could have been in Gethsemane, spending His last hours complaining about this world, saying, ‘I want to get out of here as fast as possible.’

He could have been full of bitterness and hatred. He could have been screaming to God. And yet there is this powerful acceptance of His Will.

“From the crib to the Cross,” Cardinal Sarah says, “silence is constantly present, because the problem of silence is a problem of love. Love is not expressed in words. It takes on flesh and becomes one and the same being with the one who loves in truth” (Ibid., Point 201).

With this silent acceptance, Christ shows the depth of His love.

“God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son” (John 3:16).

In those periods of rejection, Our Lord invites us to participate with His Redemption. “I rejoice now in the sufferings I bear for your sake, and what is lacking in the sufferings of Christ, I fill up in my body for the sake of the Church” (Col. 1:24).

There is nothing lacking in the sufferings of Christ, but there is a lot lacking in our participation in those sufferings.

Lord, help me to use those moments to participate a little better, a little more, to go a little deeper in my unity to you, by following you along that pathway to Calvary.

Cardinal Sarah says, “Its strength is such that it leads us to give ourselves even unto death, unto the humble, silent, and pure gift of our life. If we want to prolong Christ's work on earth, it is necessary to love silence, solitude, and prayer” (Ibid.).

The death of Jesus, therefore, is a great silence. It was the [ninth] hour. “He bowed his head and gave up his spirit” (John 19:30).

“The Father spoke one Word,” St. John of the Cross said, “which was his Son, and this Word He always speaks in eternal silence, and in silence, it must be heard by the soul” (St. John of the Cross, Counsels of Light and Love).

Jesus, help me to go forward, to embrace those moments. When you allow me to share in your Cross a little more, help me to thank you for those moments, to see that you are bringing me forward spiritually a little more in this particular situation.

“Offering no resistance,” we’re told in The Way of the Cross, “Jesus gives himself up to the execution of the sentence. He is to be spared nothing, and upon his shoulders falls the weight of the ignominious cross. But, through love, the Cross is to become the throne from which he reigns” (J. Escrivá, The Way of the Cross, Second Station).

Jesus, when you come to me with the little crosses of each day—possibly unexpected crosses from unexpected sources—help me to see that here is the Finger of God.

This is the thing you are asking of me in this particular moment, my opportunity to be a little closer to you. A divine moment.

“Is it not true that as soon as you cease to be afraid of the Cross, of what people call the cross, when you set your will to accept the Will of God, then you find happiness, and all your worries, all your sufferings, physical or moral, pass away?” (J. Escrivá, Ibid.).

A lady told me once in another country how she had had a major contradiction. She had lost a child.

But she said she was thanking God for the crosses that He sent her. In the midst of her pain and suffering, she was thanking God, because she realized it could be much worse.

The crosses that God sends us could also be much worse. That's why we have to thank Him for the things that He sends us.

There are millions of other things that other people, perhaps, are suffering that are a million times worse.

Our Lord always gives us the grace to handle those moments, to handle the experience of rejection, or difficulty, or feelings of aloneness, or other things that may not be the reality.

“Truly the Cross of Jesus is gentle and lovable. There, sorrows cease to count; there is only the joy of knowing that we are co-redeemers with Him” (J. Escrivá, Ibid.).

There's a great joy in being a co-redeemer.

Chesterton says that there is one aspect of the Cross that is missing in all accounts: it's the joy of Christ on the Cross (cf. G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy).

The joy of the fact that Consummatum est–“It is accomplished”—this great work of Redemption.

We can participate in that joy—the joy of being co-redeemers, the joy of knowing that I'm contributing something, that this is worthwhile, it's not in vain.

Our Lord is using me in this particular moment in a special way, perhaps to bring forward great projects, great apostolic fruits.

Mary, may you help us in this week of the angels to be a little bit more aware of those little hints that you give us of those opportunities that come to us, that you are there behind the scene, allowing us to experience what you experienced in Bethlehem, and what you experienced also on the Way of the Cross when you saw the rejection of your Son.

Help us to savor those moments and to make them into times and opportunities for great spiritual bounty.

I thank you, my God, for the good resolutions, affections, and inspirations that you have communicated to me during this meditation. I ask your help to put them into practice. My Immaculate Mother, Saint Joseph, my father and lord, my guardian angel, intercede for me.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

GD