Humility

By Fr. Conor Donnelly

(Proofread)

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

My Lord and my God, I firmly believe that you are here, that you see me, that you hear me. I adore you with profound reverence. I ask your pardon for my sins and grace to make this time of prayer fruitful. My Immaculate Mother, Saint Joseph, my father and lord, my guardian angel, intercede for me.

On one occasion, Don Álvaro was passing through a living room in Villa Tevere on the fourth floor. It was early afternoon, after the get-together had finished.

There was somebody at the other end of the room, a little vestibule where the lift was. There was a Roman glass door between the two. Don Álvaro couldn't see that person, but that person could see him.

Halfway through the living room, Don Álvaro stopped, because he noticed a few pieces of ash that had been left in an ashtray. The ashtray had been cleaned, but these few little pieces were remaining. So he went and he got the little metal box and a paintbrush, and he finished off the job of cleaning the ashtray.

What was occupying the mind of the Prelate of Opus Dei in those few moments? A few pieces of ash. Where was he finding God in that little job? Well, in those few pieces of ash.

It was reminiscent of our Father’s phrase that “there is something…divine hidden in the most ordinary situations, and it is up to each one of us to discover it” (Josemaría Escrivá, Conversations, Point 114).

Don Álvaro could have called any of 140 people in the center at that time to clean that ashtray. But he did it himself—quietly, unobtrusively. It would never have been known, if that other person had not been there to witness this whole thing.

This meditation is about humility, charity, and unity.

On another occasion, Don Álvaro was at an afternoon tea. This was organized for the Queen of Spain who came to visit Rome, and she invited a number of ecclesiastical personalities, Spanish personalities, clerics in Rome, maybe eight or ten of them; probably the most important was Don Álvaro at the time.

During the afternoon tea, suddenly she asked, “And where is Don Álvaro del Portillo?” He was sitting right in front of her. So there was an embarrassed silence.

Then Don Álvaro broke the silence and said, “Your Majesty, you do me a great favor, because ever since our Founder died, I have made it my business to try and hide away and disappear, and this afternoon you've helped me to hide away and disappear.”

Everybody breathed a sigh of relief as the tension passed after that moment when Her Majesty put her foot in her mouth.

This was the background music of Don Álvaro's life. When he arrived in Manila in 1987, I was hearing confessions in a downtown chapel and a supernumerary asked me, “Don Álvaro is arriving this afternoon, why are you not at the airport?” because in Manila, like in Kenya, everybody goes to the airport when somebody is arriving.

I told him, “Don Álvaro doesn't want to make noise. He wants ‘to pass unnoticed’ (J. Escrivá, The Way, Point 848). He doesn't want a big fuss. He wants to do and disappear.”

A few days later, I happened to tell this anecdote to the regional vicar. A week or two later, I was having dinner with Don Álvaro and the director of the center, and the regional vicar asked me to tell Don Álvaro that story.

In the get-together, I told him that I had been in this chapel and the supernumerary had asked me why I wasn't at the airport. Suddenly Don Álvaro sat forward in his chair with a very serious look on his face and he said to me, “And what did you tell them?”–¿Qué les dijiste?”

I realized this is going to be something very important and I told Don Álvaro, “I told him that Don Álvaro wants to pass unnoticed. He doesn't want to make noise. He wants to do and disappear, to be silent.”

With great seriousness, Don Álvaro said, Eso siempre-“that always” and then sat back into his chair. It was like a theme he had for the whole of his life—part of his living out of this virtue of humility.

After our Father passed away, he said, “Being humble, we'll be faithful, and the Work will go forward: firm, compact and secure.”

Somebody said once that Our Lord must have had great trust in the humility of our Father.

Many of the founders of the great supernatural families in the Church died with just a few people around them. But our Father died with 75,000 around him.

And yet our Father used to say, “I am nothing. I can do nothing. I have nothing.”

All the time he was planting seeds, the trees from which would grow, would be a place for other people to relax in. Our Father was forgetting about himself all the time.

We find in The Way, The Forge, the Furrow, that phrase cropping up quite frequently: “forget yourself” (The Way, Points 175 and 186; The Forge, Point 97; Furrow, Point 793). We solve all our own problems by thinking about others.

Fidelity to our vocation is a grace that Our Lord will grant us if we struggle to be humble. Don Álvaro said the best service we can give to God, to the Church, to the Roman Pontiff, and to the Work consists in learning to be humble. That's something that we have to learn again and again, to begin again to be humble.

What are the manifestations of humility? One of them is to be more sincere in the chat and to have a love of a spirit of service. To be thinking of others: What do they need? What do they want at this moment? What is the best thing that I can contribute to their well-being?

“They have no wine,” Our Lady said at Cana (John 2:3).

Don Álvaro also liked to say, “Let us seek only the glory of God.” Deo omnis gloria. Is the glory of God the motive of all my actions?

There's always plenty of room for a new rectitude of intention. The constant lesson of the life of our Father is to hide away and disappear. “Let each one fulfill the work of God,” he said, ‘spending himself in service to others’ (J. Escrivá, Friends of God, Point 208), knowing himself to be the last.”

“My sisters and brothers,” said Don Álvaro in 1975, “I'm writing this to you with all the love that our Father has taught me to have for you. Let us be very humble. Let us not forget that our Father has always forewarned us that the great enemy is hidden in pride.”

We know some aspects of our pride, but we don't know all the aspects. As time and our vocation goes on, God may give us the grace to see aspects of that pride with greater clarity—things that possibly we haven't seen before; an opportunity to rectify, to begin again, to make an act of love, sorrow for all the pride, egoism, selfishness that may have been there inside us all the time and perhaps is still there.

It's very good to seize the opportunities that may come to learn how to practice this virtue better. To blame ourselves for things. To realize that I am the problem, that this was my fault.

St. John the Baptist said, “He must increase, I must decrease” (John 3:30).

“For let this mind be in you, which was all also in Christ Jesus. He did not consider being equal to God a thing to be clung to, but emptied himself, taking the nature of a slave, being made like unto men and appearing in the form of man. He humbled himself by becoming obedient, even unto death” (Phil.2: 5-8).

Lord, teach me to be more humble and to discover the ways in which I can practice that virtue.

“Abide in me and I in you,” says the Lord. “As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it remain on the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in me” (John 15:4).

All fruitfulness comes to us from God, not from our own personal efforts or our own personal work.

“I think it is time to ask Our Lord”, said Don Álvaro, “through the intercession of our Father, to give us this grace: a holy hunger to disappear, to be the last, to obey with more finesse than ever.”

Together with that virtue of humility, there is the virtue of charity. By emptying ourselves of ourselves, of our love of self, we make room for love of others.

Humility makes charity possible. “Pride shuts us up in ourselves, makes us freeze everything around us,” said Don Álvaro, “and charity is human and supernatural affection.”

On one occasion, now Cardinal Julián Herranz was then a young student in the 1950s. He hadn't been so well, and our Father and Don Álvaro took him out for a drive around Rome. There was a bit of a convalescence. There was our Father, Don Álvaro, the driver and Don Julián in the small Fiat 600 that they had at the time.

They drove around Rome for an hour and a half or so, and our Father was laughing and joking and singing and helping Don Julián to enjoy himself and have a great time.

When eventually they got back to Villa Tevere, our Father went up to his room, and Don Álvaro hung back a moment or two with Don Julián and asked him, “How did you find our Father this afternoon?”

And he said, “Well, he seemed to be in great form. He was singing, he was joking, he was laughing.”

Don Álvaro said, “Well, just for you to know, our Father has a big boil on the back of his neck, and with that boil, his Roman collar is biting down into that boil. This afternoon, he has been in great pain—just for you to know that he did all of this for you.”

On another occasion, the doctor of our Father who was in Villa Tevere made appointments for all the dental appointments of everybody in the house, 100-plus people. A day or two later, Don Javier met him and asked, “Did you make your own dental appointment?” And of course he hadn't.

A day or two later, a little slip appeared on his desk with a dental appointment made by Don Javier.

This person knew that Don Javier was a very busy man. He had many tasks given to him by our Father, many assignments, messages, he was busy, busy, busy all day, but yet he had found time in his busy day to make this dental appointment for that other person.

This person was very moved and went to Don Javier and said, “Thank you very much for doing this little thing.” Don Javier said, “To have done anything else would have been to kill Opus Dei.”

Very often our charity is in those little details that we do for people in an ordinary way. We have to try and build up Opus Dei. We neglect little things that other people may need or want, and then we may have killed Opus Dei.

We work as a family, with the warmth of a home. Each one of us has something to contribute to that warmth and to that home. We do it with our concern for other people by forgetting about ourselves. The day that we treat each other as strangers will be the day that we kill Opus Dei.

We love our brothers and sisters as we spend ourselves in their service, knowing how to place ourselves last, not doing our own thing, finding our greatest joy at home and with the family—and finding our greatest joy also in that the other people are happy with this movie or this song or this get-together. That's more important than the movie itself or whether I enjoy it. We find our greatest joys from the fact that other people are happy.

And our Father said that sometimes the greatest charity is prayer. Often the greatest thing we can offer other people is our prayer: the Memorare for the person who needs it most, or the Memorare for the person at the center who needs it most, or our day on guardlived well.

When you're forever going through a rough period, maybe each day or each hour can be a day on guard, but everything directed to the others.

We help others a lot with our good example. We lead with our example. We form with our example. We encourage with our example.

We show great charity through fraternal correction (cf. J. Escrivá, The Forge, Point 146). Whenever we have to give or receive a fraternal correction, it can be very useful to think, ‘This is the greatest act of supernatural affection and human affection that I can practice with my sister’ (Ibid., Point 566).

It's an expression that I care for you, I love you. You're not alone. You're a fond part of a family. I want you to be holy. I want you to get into heaven. It's the most important thing.

If ever we find it difficult to give a fraternal correction, or we find it difficult to receive a fraternal correction, if we think of that idea, it can help us to see the supernatural richness of that moment in a very special light and to be very grateful.

Our Father has emphasized that we have a great duty to give fraternal correction to the person in charge, to be a special concern that we have, and a way of practicing charity.

St. Paul says to the Ephesians, “Away with falsehood then. Let everyone speak the truth to his neighbor. Membership of the body binds us one to another.

“Do not let resentment lead you into sin. The sunset must not find you still angry. Do not give the devil his opportunity.

“The man who was a thief must be a thief no longer. Let him work instead, and earn by his own labor the blessings he will be able to share with those who are in need.

“No base talk must cross your lips; only what will serve to build the faith, and bring a grace to those who are listening.

“Do not distress God's Holy Spirit, whose seal you bear until the day of your redemption comes. There must be no trace of bitterness among you, of passion, resentment, quarreling, insulting talk, or spite of any kind.

“Be kind and tender with one another, each of you generous to all, as God in Christ has been generous to you “ (Eph.4:25-32).

It can be good to remember that everybody around me is carrying a cross. We don't see other people's crosses, but we know they're there. Our job is to help other people to carry their cross through our prayer, through our mortification, through our human support.

There are moments when everybody needs to feel the family, to feel that they're not alone, to feel that people care, and to see it in concrete ways.

Charity has to be demonstrative. It has to be shown in concrete details. If somebody says, “I love everybody, but I just don't show it,” that's not charity. It has to be shown.

Our Father says in The Way, “Always remain silent when you feel the upsurge of indignation within you. And do so, even when you have good reason to be angry. For, in spite of your discretion, in such moments you always say more than you wish” (J. Escrivá, The Way, Point 656).

We have a lot of help in our vocation to practice this virtue and to know how to practice it more; to become more refined, more detailed in this area; to make life more pleasant for those people around us.

Our Father used to say that he would bite his tongue and spit it out rather than speak ill of anyone. “Base talk, spite, detraction, criticism,” he said, “to do this is easy—as easy as destroying a beautiful and ancient cathedral. To build is what requires masters” (cf. Ibid., Point 456).

Be a builder, not a person who undoes the good work of others. Critical spirit against one another, especially against the directors, is a serious fault that we must uproot by being sincere in the chat.

Humility and charity give rise to unity. Cor unum et anima una, “one heart and one soul” (Acts 4:32; J. Escrivá, The Forge, Point 632)—words that our Father wanted to inscribe on the central tabernacles of the Villa Tevere.

Unity is easy when there's humility and charity. We have to be cor unum et anima una like the first Christians. We first of all live that unity to Our Lord in the tabernacle because it's from there that we draw love.

The Eucharist is the center of the life of the Church and of Opus Dei. We can ask Our Lord for that grace to grow in this virtue in a special way.

Don Álvaro wrote in a letter that he wrote just after the death of our Father. He said that “for this unity, which our Father considered one of the most precious treasures, makes us go forward: firm, compact and secure.”

As our Father made someone engrave somewhere in very difficult years: “For this,” he says, “we need humility.”

“In this way,” he says, “we will be on this earth the joy and the crown of our Father. Let us seek only the glory of God. Deo omnis gloria. Let us live according to the constant lesson of our Father. Mine is to hide away and disappear.”

Each one is to fulfill the norms, to work for God, to spend themselves in the service of the others, knowing themselves to be the last.

How much Don Javier liked to use those words: “To spend ourselves, to hold nothing back.” “Sacrifice must be a holocaust” (J. Escrivá, The Way, Point 186).

“Brothers and sisters,” said Don Álvaro, writing just after our Father's death. “I write to you with all the love that the Father has taught me to have for you. Let us be very humble. Let us not forget that the Father has forewarned us against that great enemy of hidden pride.

“I think this is a good moment to ask Our Lord, through the intercession of our Father, that he would give all of us that grace—the holy desire to disappear, to be the last, to obey with greater finesse than ever.”

Unity through obedience in all the ways that God may ask of us. “My brothers and sisters,” he says, “may we be very faithful, may we be very united.”

Don Álvaro liked to mention how often he thought that one of the greatest miracles that our Father has achieved is the unity of this supernatural family. So many people in so many places, different ages, different cultures, different backgrounds, but yet united in a superb unity. We have to safeguard that unity.

“Fidelity,” he says, “is shown by fulfilling the norms of our plan of life, as our Father has taught us. Unity is shown in mutual charity and all united to the heart of our Father, which doesn't beat anymore on this earth, but beats in heaven.

His immortal soul vibrates with love for each one of us, the soul that animated his body and gave it an incredible strength, if you bear in mind that he was no longer a young person.

The Father liked to say, “My children, when I die, nothing will happen.” Don Javier said, “That is now what is asked of us. We keep our sorrow on the inside; we will never be able to wipe it away in the whole of our life.

“But I want that we would follow the pathway that he has marked out, the pathway that leads us to heaven, very close together, forming a very united family with the spirit that God left our Father—a spirit with bonds that are stronger than those of blood.”

We achieve more with our unity than any of us could achieve on our own, no matter what our talents may be. God has permitted our defects, so that together with the defects of others, by uniting with them, we can still achieve those goals.

There was a story of a town in China that was having a big feast given by the mayor. But there was a man who was blind in the street and another man who was lame. One of them was complaining that they couldn't get to the feast. One couldn't get there because he was blind, and the other one couldn't get there because he was lame.

The lame man had an idea and he said to the blind man, “Look, why don't you be my feet and I will be your eyes. You give me a piggyback, and with your feet and my eyes we'll reach the feast.”

That's what they did. They achieved together what they could not have achieved on their own. That's something similar to the sort of unity that God wants from each one of us: to be united to the others, to be a team player.

Our Father had a nice phrase where he said we have to be “instruments of unity” (J. Escrivá, Friends of God, Point 233)—not just to live unity or practice this virtue, but to be an instrument of unity, to bind others to the director, to the local council, to the advisory, to the Father (Javier Echevarría), in all the ways that we can. This unity is something very special.

One time when Don Javier and Don Joaquin were in Singapore over a meal, Don Javier was at another table, and I was at a table with Don Joaquin and a few others.

I asked him: “Was there any little anecdote that he could tell us that might not come out in get-togethers or in other places?”

He said, “Yes, I'll tell you an anecdote as long as you promise you will not tell the Father if told you.” I was thinking, ‘That's exactly the sort of anecdote that I'm looking for.’

He said, “One time, just after the death of Don Álvaro and the election of Don Javier, we were invited to have dinner with the Pope. Don Javier, Don Fernando, and Don Joaquin were there. The Pope hadn't yet arrived, and the Secretary of the Pope was entertaining them, Monsignor DeWitt, now Cardinal DeWitt.

“He said, ‘You know we're very impressed with the unity that we see in the Prelature. Because before, everybody called Don Álvaro Father, and now they call you Father. There's a continuity there.’”

It was an enormous compliment to the whole of the Work and to our Father. Maybe the Father didn't want to talk about it because it might be a bit embarrassing for him.

But it was a very beautiful observation on the part of the Secretary of the Pope, and presumably the Pope had seen similar things. A great compliment about the unity of our supernatural family. A great example for the universal Church.

We have to take care of this virtue. To foster that unity. To make acts of unity. When we write to the Father, it's an act of unity. When we give a fraternal correction, it's an act of unity.

We take care of the spirit of Opus Dei. We make sure that that same spirit that God gave to our Father is lived in our particular center, in our particular circumstances.

We make acts of unity when we're careful about comments that we make or careful about small things, like the material well-being of the center, so that the right apostolic atmosphere and environment is maintained.

Every little aspect of the spirit of our Father is protected over time so that spirit gets transmitted in a concrete way.

We have to try to be united to the oldest and to the youngest because both are in need of our affection. There is nobody in the whole of Opus Dei who doesn't need affection.

All of this we manage through our unity to Our Lord in the Tabernacle. From there the whole Work and the whole Church draw their love.

We're united when we consult things. Our apostolate is a directed apostolate. We're united to the Will of God for us. We do things that He wants us to do in the way that He wants us to do them, so that we make sure that the spirit that we're living is truly the spirit of Opus Dei.

“Joyfully I bless you,” said our Father, “for that faith in your mission as an apostle which inspired you to write: ‘There is no doubt about it: the future is certain, perhaps in spite of us.’ But it's essential that we should be one with the Head—ut omnes unum sint, that all may be one!—through prayer and sacrifice” (J. Escrivá, The Way, Point 968).

Our Lady all through her life was very united to the Divine Will. In Nazareth, “She said, ‘Behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it done unto me according to your word” (Luke 1:38).

We could ask Our Lady that we might learn how to practice these virtues of humility, charity, and unity in the same exquisite way in which she practiced them.

I thank you, my God, for the good resolutions, affections, and inspirations that you have communicated to me during this meditation. I ask your help to put them into practice. My Immaculate Mother, Saint Joseph, my father and lord, my guardian angel, intercede for me.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

GD