God Has Captured Me With His Love

By Fr. Conor Donnelly

(Proofread)

Per signum Crucis, de inimicis nostris libera nos, Deus noster. In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.

My Lord and my God, I firmly believe that you are here, that you see me, that you hear me. I adore you with profound reverence. I ask your pardon for my sins and grace to make this time of prayer fruitful. My Immaculate Mother, Saint Joseph, my father and lord, my guardian angel, intercede for me.

“My dear friends, let us love one another, since love is from God. Everyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. Whoever fails to love does not know God, because God is love” (1 John 4:7-8).

These are among the most beautiful words in the whole of Scripture. Blessed Álvaro liked to say that it was to the care of St. John that Our Lady was entrusted and, possibly because of that, he writes more about love than any other of the evangelists. He says some very beautiful things.

This meditation is entitled ‘God has captured me with His love.’

“My dear friends,” he says also, “God has loved us so much, we too should love one another...God is love and whoever remains in love remains in God, and God in him” (1 John 4:11,16).

In the Encyclical Ecclesia de Eucharistia, John Paul II says, “the Church draws her life from the Eucharist.”

You could also say that the Church draws her love from the Eucharist. Each day we draw love from the Eucharist. And love is a very important word.

The Church is all about love. Christianity is love. The sacraments are love. The Spirit of Opus Dei is love.

Everything about our life, our Christian vocation, is all about love. “A little act, done for Love,” said St. Josemaría, “is worth so much!” (Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, Point 814).

A couple of years ago I attended a 60th anniversary celebration of a religious profession in Msongari. The 80-plus-year-old nun gave a speech at the end, after the lunch.

She said, “You know this phrase that we often hear in parishes, ‘God is good all the time.’” She said, “I don't like that. I don't like it: ‘God is good all the time.’” She said, “God is love.”

Very powerful expression. It's the message that we have to try and bring to the whole world.

Everything that helps to convey that message is important. We try to put love into practice in everything we do.

“This is the revelation of God's love for us,” says St. John, “that God sent his only Son into the world that we might have life through him. Love consists in this: it is not we who loved God, but God loved us and sent his Son to expiate for our sins”(1 John 4:9-10).

In this recollection, we could ask Our Lord that we might learn how to love a little more, how to love a little better; to become the aristocrats of love at all stages of our life.

Around this time last year, at a birthday in Strathmore House, Father Cormac at 94 sang a song, ‘Keep Right On to the End of the Road.’ It was an old soldier song that was sung in the Second World War about fortitude, about perseverance.

At all stages of our lives, we are called to put that love of God into practice in concrete ways.

St. John of the Cross said, “At the end of your earthly life, you will be judged on the greatness of your love.”

Everything about our life has to do with love. Every bit of formation that we receive, every grace, every virtue we try to put into practice, every challenge that comes along, and every little cross is a divine call to love a little more.

St. Ignatius said, “No wood is better able to increase the fire of divine love than the wood of the Cross.” We show Our Lord the seriousness of our love by the way that we accept the crosses that He may send us.

Holiness is measured by love, and we have to try and lead in holiness. Therefore you could say that we are called to lead also in love. There is always something new to be learned.

St. Josemaría told us that we have to try and love other people with their defects (J. Escrivá, Friends of God, Point 227). We love through understanding, patience, service, sacrifice, avoiding negative criticism, seeing Christ in others, through offering irritations.

Somebody in another country told me once that, “I realize that if I was really humble, these little things wouldn't bother me.” We can always grow in that understanding, in that patience.

There's a book called Effective Executive by Peter Drucker, which talks about or looks at what makes people effective in organizations. He says the key factor that makes people effective is that they don’t just ask themselves good questions; they ask themselves the right question.

And the right question is always: "What can I contribute?” What can I give at this committee meeting, from this office, in this organization, for us while in this get-together, at these mealtimes, in the center where I live, in my professional work, in my family surroundings? What can I contribute?

And if possible, what can I contribute that nobody else can contribute? Because if I can contribute something that nobody else can contribute, with my talents, with my abilities, with my acumen, with my prayer, then that makes me effective. One thing we all have to try and learn, and yearn for, is to be more effective.

That particular pathway to effectiveness is very relevant in our family life, in our vocation, and every day of our lives—more effective, through putting this love into practice in concrete ways, through understanding, through patience, through loving others with their defects.

One time I was having dinner with a 75-year-old French missionary priest in the highlands of Malaysia. He had spent many years in China.

There were just the two of us. Halfway through the meal, he took out his false teeth and put them on the table. He said, "This chili that we eat here in Malaysia makes my teeth a bit loose." It was the first time I had dinner with a pair of false teeth looking at me across the table.

He told me that the previous week he had gone to visit a city there where he used to work, at a place called Penang. There was a doctor there who had invited him out to lunch. He had been very close to him when he was a parish priest there.

He said, “I don't like fancy restaurants any more, but he invited me there and I couldn't refuse, so I went there. I also had trouble with my teeth, so I took them out as well, but I was a bit more discreet; I wrapped them in the napkin. And then I was chatting away to other people at the table and looked back, the napkin was gone.

“The waitress had taken the napkin. I had to rush to the kitchen, I looked at the garbage can, but I got my false teeth back okay.”

Sometimes the defects of other people can become very visible, and yet this is a divine call to see Christ in others.

“May you seek Christ, may you find Christ, may you love Christ” (J. Escrivá, The Way, Point 382).

Confucius has a statement whereby he says we become what we condemn. They're interesting words from a non-Christian philosopher: we become what we condemn. In other words, be careful about what you condemn, and what you might express negative words or ideas about very vigorously.

It's like a call to be very positive—positive in our conversations, positive in get-togethers, positive in our comments.

Gaudium meum in domum meum cum fratribus meus–My greatest joy is to be at home with my brothers. Our greatest joy in moments has to be at home and with our family, like any good Christian person.

I could ask Our Lord to help me to forget about all the little things that might separate me from others.

St. Josemaría has given us that criterion to try and steal heaven for others so that we know those words, those actions, those gestures that only those who love know are important.

What does this person around me need at this particular moment? What can I give? What can I contribute?

That word, that gesture. Sometimes that silence. Just being there. Often the witness of presence itself is very powerful.

We had an excursion one time in Singapore at a deanery meeting. We went out into the bay in a boat. Among the priests who were there was an 85-year-old Jesuit priest.

He couldn't move around the boat very much. He just sort of sat there.

Coming home afterward with another priest, I happened to mention how nice it was that that 85-year-old priest made the effort to come—just to be there, even if he couldn't move around the boat very much.

This other priest said, "Yes, it shows you,” he said, “the witness of presence.” I was rather struck by that phrase. I hadn't heard it before.

In our lives, the witness of presence can be very important—just to be there at that meal, in that get-together with that person, with that sick person.

Often it's not what we say or what we do. It's just that presence that expresses love.

A mother in Ganda a couple of years ago told me how she had a miscarriage; she was the mother of a Standard 4 girl. She said all the other mothers were very helpful, very supportive, and very kind. But there was one mother, she said, who had lost a seven-year-old child a few years previously. She said, “She used to come and sit with me.”

She said while with all the other mothers, their presence and their help meant an awful lot, just that presence of that lady meant more than all the others.

She'd been through something similar. She used to just sit there silently. She knew what to say, and what not to say. The witness of presence. That presence can be so powerful with the people that we love.

Everyone needs that affection because everybody has a human heart.

The Holy Spirit has come to “enkindle in our hearts the fire of His love”—that divine love that hopefully we can spread to so many other people, to a world that is so much in need of love.

Human love is a reflection of divine love. The devil is so aware of it. It's so powerful and so important that he messes it up for all young people. But we have the answers.

Charity has no prejudices. It reaches out to everybody. We try and be available to everybody in all sorts of situations.

We go out of our way to take care of the sick—not just visiting them or smiling, but just being there. The consolation of company; thinking: what do they need, what do they like?

Also, we show our love by taking care of the norms of rest so that we can be in better shape to contribute positively to the family atmosphere.

A Christian loves with a charity that comes from God. It's a supernatural charity.

We see the blood of Christ flowing in the veins of others. That leads us to constantly get out of our own shoes, and try to see everything as other people see them.

If we just abandon ourselves to the dynamism of getting things done, we can easily lose our supernatural outlook.

We can be very active—busy, busy, busy doing things, and maybe, doing very important things—but possibly neglecting that which is the most important: our heart in our home, our heart in our family, our heart in the tabernacle, our heart in our vocation.

If ever there is a storm growing in our hearts, we can say: “Jesus, give me peace.” We know that He will stand up in the boat and speak to the elements: “Peace, be still” (Mark 4:39).

He can calm our imagination, He can calm our sentiments.

Only with peace and supernatural vision can we listen to what other people are saying to us; listening also to the things that are said to us in the means of formation, so that we get the message. It’s very important to listen.

Some people can't explain things very clearly, but other people can't understand things clearly. We have to try and detect and see what it is that this person is trying to say to me.

We try to enjoy the company of all. To try and avoid anybody's company is wrong.

Friends are the family we choose for life. We listen to all happily. We listen not just to their words, but also to their feelings.

We can train ourselves to hear what other people are trying to say to us.

Sometimes the body language can be expressive. Sometimes their silences can be very expressive. A person who doesn't understand a person's silences will not understand their words either.

This love of God that we have in our hearts leads us to be sensitive to the needs of all because we never know how heavy a burden another person may be carrying. We don't know what they just heard, what they went through today at the office, or some other thing that happened to them in their life.

There was a lady professor who was on the subway in New York on a Sunday morning reading her newspaper, commenting to herself how pleasant it was to be on the subway on a Sunday morning. No rush hour traffic, and it’s very peaceful.

At the next station, a lady got on the train with five children, sat in front of her, closed her eyes, [and]{.underline} the five children began to run around the carriage. They were shouting and screaming and roaring.

This lady professor got very irate. They bumped into her knee. They banged against her newspaper.

She kept quiet for as long as she could, but then she decided she couldn't take it anymore.

She put down her newspaper, tapped the woman on the knee, who opened her eyes, and said to her in a rather belligerent tone, "Don't you think you should do something about your children?”

The lady opened her eyes and said, "Perhaps I should, but I've just come from the hospital where their father died and I'm a bit confused."

The lady professor was thrown back on her heels. She had no idea where this woman was coming from; what had just happened in her life; how the life of her children had just changed irrevocably.

We can be crucifying other people with our pride and yet not know what they may be going through.

St. Josemaría had a horror that anyone in Opus Dei might feel alone. You have to be sensitive to that.

One time I was in charge of the door in Villa Tevere. Don Álvaro was going out one day and normally they would come down and then get into the car straight away. When they got into the car, that was the signal to open the garage door.

This time, I was standing at the door waiting for them to get into the car, but they didn't get into the car. Don Álvaro, Don Javier, and Don Joaquin were obviously waiting for somebody. Eventually, somebody came, who was Don Julián, and then they got into the car.

But in those few minutes, they were chit-chatting.

Don Álvaro noticed that I was standing there beside the garage door, so he came over to chat with me. It was just a very few simple moments. “How are you? Any news from where you come from?" A little chit-chat, but it was very eloquent.

He spotted somebody who might be a little bit alone, or who might be feeling alone in just that couple of seconds, and immediately dropped what he was talking about.

I presume they weren't talking about Manchester United, and he came to chat with me.

That's the sort of sensitivity we have to try and have. The fruit of that charity is unity. Cor unum et anima una (Acts 4:32).

When the Nuncio came to Strathmore House for dinner a year or two ago, he saw above the altar, during the visit, the phrase Consummati in unum.

On the way out he asked me, Why Consummati in unum. When I explained he said, "Oh, of course.”

The messages we get are written in big letters sometimes, but it takes a while for us to grasp their full meaning.

We're called to enjoy family life and to see that our affection has to be manifested often in little sacrifices. We can easily live in our own little world: my jobs, my ideas, my little world of which I am lord—whereas we are called to share everything.

The different inequalities among men are all part of the divine plan. Some are hardworking, some are intelligent, some are practical, some are responsible.

If we have more, we have to try and give more. Our Lord has called us to give and to give generously, to see concrete ways.

There is a Jewish writer who says, “The opposite of love is not hatred, it's indifference” (Elie Wiesel, Interview, Oct. 27, 1986)—not caring, seeing something that we could do and not doing or not bothering, or walking by something that needs attention.

Charity means doing things. “Well done is better than well said” (Benjamin Franklin).

Charity has to be demonstrative. We say, "Yes, I love everybody, but I just don't show it very much. I'm not that type of person. It's not manifested externally.” Well then, that's not charity. It has to be shown in concrete ways.

That means sometimes too, we have to grow in the virtue of communication.

The 21st century is the century of communication—learning how to communicate well with our words, with our tone, with our accents, with different things, with our gestures. Body language can be important.

We have to grow in our understanding: an understanding that other people have limitations. We have to put ourselves in their shoes.

All this is part of being the good shepherd.

God has captured me with His love, and He wants me to spread that love in all sorts of ways, and to realize the power of words. Words can lift up and words can bring down.

There was a king who gave a banquet once. He told a cook in charge of the catering that these were the not-so-important people in his kingdom, so just prepare something fairly normal.

When the moment came to serve the meal, it turned out that the meal was tongue. Okay, no problem, cooked tongue, or boiled tongue, or whatever it was.

Then a few weeks later, he had another banquet. This was for the very important people in his kingdom. He told the cook to prepare something very important.

When the moment came to serve the meal, the cook also served tongue.

When everybody had gone home, the king went to the cook and said: “I told you to prepare something not so important and you prepared tongue. And then I tell you to prepare something very important and you prepare tongue also. What's the meaning of this?”

He said, “You see, the tongue can be used in various ways. You can use it to bring people up or you can use it to bring people down."

We have to be careful with our words.

Words can be like arrows that can be directed to human hearts. Words can crucify. They can hurt. They can cause pain and the pain can last. That pain may not stop when our words stop.

Choosing the right words. Being very affirmative. St. Paul says to “keep encouraging one another” (Heb. 3:13)—a very powerful phrase. Everybody needs encouragement.

It’s a beautiful thing if everybody we come in contact with always goes away very affirmed and encouraged, because this world can bring them down.

The chapter on pessimism is the chapter in our Father’s work in The Forge that I've recommended more to people in the last forty years than any other chapter.

Christian life can be a bit discouraging sometimes. Everybody needs encouragement.

That love can be shown in the charity to correct, which at times may be difficult, may demand a lot of fortitude. We might have to go out of ourselves completely, but yet it's a great act of divine love.

Charity is shown in detail. Love is in the details, the small things. “A little act done for love is worth so much.” A little word done for love is worth so much. A little communication.

It might be somebody of the Work, might be somebody very far away from the Work, possibly somebody who never hears words of encouragement.

‘Good luck with an exam.’ ‘I'm with you.’ ‘I'm taking care of you.’ ‘Good luck in that match that you're playing that is important.’

The person knows that this person has my back. They're thinking of me. So supportive.

Compliments draw people out. Everybody needs compliments.

Sometimes we may have to offer up the moods that we may be going through, our feelings. We have to try and help others to improve.

We have to try and watch personal grudges, especially in the face of events and situations that may make us a bit critical or frustrated or disappointed. These are divine calls to pray a little more, to smile, to learn the value of silence.

That new book from Cardinal Sarah is very powerful: The Power of Silence.

There was a journalist in Singapore once who retired and then told me he gave seminars to civil servants on communication because many people did not have great English. They had a Chinese background. Also, they could get a bit emotional in their emails, and so there were emails flying around the civil service that were a bit electric.

His job was to sort of calm people down a little bit. He would get small little groups to give this seminar on communication.

At the end of the financial year, the numbers would increase because different heads of departments wanted to exhaust their budget. They would send along more people just perhaps who didn't want to be at these seminars. They were just there because the boss told them to go. Sometimes this was a bit of a problem.

On one occasion, there was a lady who obviously had been sent by her boss. She didn't want to be there, and she became a major social problem. She was saying things to people, making comments, very negative, very critical, and was destroying the whole seminar.

He said, “I invoked the Holy Spirit. I asked the Holy Spirit: ‘Help me. When the moment comes to tell this lady to go back to her office, help me to do it right, because after all, this is a seminar on communication. Help me to put it well, to choose the right words and help me to last as long as I can.’

“Help me to say it right, to say to this lady: ‘Madam, why don't you go back to your office and we create a win-win situation. You let me do my job and I let you do your job. We live in peace forever and live happily ever after.’”

A few minutes later while he was making this sort of prayer while giving a seminar, he happened to mention the head of some department in the civil service in very favorable terms: he's an excellent civil servant, he's a very good professional, he's a model of what all civil servants should be—without mentioning the name.

Then this lady popped up with a name, a Chinese name: Goh Chok Tong. He said, "Yes, Mr. Goh Chok Tong, he's an excellent civil servant." He's this, he's that and the other thing.

This lady said, "My husband.”

He said, "Oh my goodness, this terrible woman is the wife of that good friend of mine. Thank you, Holy Spirit. Thank you, Holy Spirit.”

He said we never realize the great good that can come from just keeping our big mouth shut.

And he said, “That was coming up to Christmas and Chinese New Year, when I get paid by the number of people that come to my seminars. The extra number of people coming is an extra bit of cash in my pocket.”

"That friend of mine,” he said a few days later, “sent many more people than he would normally send.” Obviously his wife had gone back and complimented the speaker of the seminar.

He said, “I could have lost a friend forever, but it turned out to be very lucrative.” He said, also we don't realize the lucrative value sometimes of keeping our big mouths shut.

The Christmas greeting of the angels, “Peace on earth,” is very important for us. We come to bring peace to all situations: peace through sacrifice and self renunciation; peace not just through our human effort alone, but through the intercession of God, so that the love of Christ can spread to all people.

Every person is valuable. You have something positive to say. And sometimes charity, as mentioned, is manifested in good manners: please and thank you.

Good table manners, good telephone manners, and nowadays good manners on social media, saying thank you and please or spelling things right—all these small things.

James Stenson says that good manners is the basis of professional life. Another strong statement. Good manners is the basis of professional life.

Dealing with other people professionally. They like to be spoken to well, or handled well, talked to well. There’s a lot to be learned from that.

In our family, Aunt Carmen and the grandmother have given us very high standards.

It's a common need of all humanity—charity manifested through good manners: please and thank you to everybody. It's a consequence of formation, of education.

Little by little we can grow in all these things. There are civilized ways of acting and reacting. These are ways of behaving and acting and reacting that express respect for others.

“Our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habits, our habits become our character, and our character becomes our destiny” (attributed to Lao Tzu).

Charity—love—in our thoughts. Sometimes the strongest things in the world can seem the weakest. Gentleness is stronger than cruelty. Patience is stronger than impatience. Mercy is stronger than revenge. Love is stronger than hate.

It is the great corporate message that the whole Church tries to give the world.

In Singapore, there was an elders’ group in one parish who took it upon themselves to send a birthday card to all the priests of the diocese every year. In the Catholic directory, all the birthdays of the priests were there. They would make a homemade birthday card and send it to you. Every year you'd get this birthday card.

One year I opened this birthday card and the dedication inside said: “On this day when you remember all the blessings with which God has blessed you in your life, never forget how much you have made other people suffer.”

Rather interesting dedication to get on your birthday. Of course, very interesting, and I cut it out. Every time I give a talk on charity, I come across it. It's good to remember how much we've made other people suffer.

Sometimes in school I tell the little kids, "Go home and ask your Mom, was I ever unlovable?” She'll say, "Sit down for an hour, I'll tell you about it."

Or what was my pregnancy like when you carried me for nine months? Or what was my labor like? How did you feel, contraction by contraction? It's a good thing to think about sometimes.

God may use other people as instruments in our lives like gloves: sometimes as instruments of inspiration, but sometimes as instruments of purification. Sometimes he uses us as instruments of purification of others.

If God causes us sometimes to suffer, sometimes He wants us to suffer in silence. Jesus autem tacebat (Matt. 26:63)—very powerful words in the story of the Passion.

Euripides says: “In silence wisdom is born.”

Our interior or exterior silence can be an index of how perfect is our holocaust.

In Joseph of Nazareth, we see silence. Silence of the Holy Family on their journey to Bethlehem. “Abused and ill-treated, he opened not his mouth...dumb as a lamb before his shearers” (Josemaría Escrivá, The Way of the Cross, Ninth Station, quoting Isa. 53:7).

That divine love expressed in our life is always a unifying reality—a creating unity.

From reading these beautiful words of St. John, “God is love” (1 John 4:8), we could ask Our Lady, that we might come back to those words again and again. St. John must have meditated on that example of Our Lady and also on her words, so that later on he could express them so eloquently in his writings.

Mary, you may help us to be captured each day by the love of God that has poured into our hearts.

I thank you, my God, for the good resolutions, affections, and inspirations that you have communicated to me during this meditation. I ask your help to put them into practice. My Immaculate Mother, Saint Joseph, my father and lord, my guardian angel, intercede for me.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

JM