Even The Hairs of Your Head

By Fr. Conor Donnelly

(Proofread)

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

My Lord and my God, I firmly believe that you are here, that you see me, that you hear me. I adore you with profound reverence. I ask your pardon for my sins and grace to make this time of prayer fruitful. My Immaculate Mother, Saint Joseph, my father and lord, my guardian angel, intercede for me.

Our Lord tells us, “Even the hairs of your head are numbered” (Luke 12:7).

Faith is often simple, easy, and joyful.

But at other times it can become a struggle, a fight, or a decision that isn't spontaneous but demands courage. We've all lived through moments of difficulty and suffering, possibly of deep darkness, which is a trial for our faith.

What seemed evident before becomes problematic. We can have doubts, questions without answers, or the occasional sorrowful feeling that God is absent or has abandoned us.

What is Our Lord doing? Why has He left me to go through this? Can I really count on Him? Why is He silent?

All these questions and others can assail us in a painful way. Life has struck.

The first thing that we should know is that this type of situation is normal in the spiritual life. All people go through trials in which it seems that God has contradicted Himself and forgotten us.

Some spiritual writers say that these times of trial are necessary. They make our illusions fall away, from our pride to our pretensions of controlling everything.

In these times, our faith is called to grow to be more than a simple habit of thinking, but rather an adult decision that requires the engagement of our freedom.

Our faith also becomes more pure. When we go through trials, faith can no longer rely solely on human things—an experience, a culture, habits, sentimental satisfaction, or benefits that we can measure.

A certain emotional foundation to faith disappears, not so that faith diminishes, but on the contrary, so that it can be strengthened in relying more on God alone, on His word, on His promises.

God doesn't abandon us in these situations. In a hidden way, He sustains us, and He fights in us.

After a terrible period of suffering and temptations, St. Catherine of Siena asked Our Lord, “My Lord, where were you when my heart was disturbed by all those temptations?”

Jesus responded to her saying, “I was in your heart. … And I, who was defending your heart from the enemies, was hidden there all the time” (Blessed Raymond of Capua, The Life of St. Catherine of Siena).

Being put to the test and going through the storm, faith becomes stronger in the end.

In his first Letter, St. Peter had some beautiful words to say regarding the purification of faith through trial. It says:

“In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have had to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, being more precious than gold which though perishable is tested by fire, can be found to result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1 Pet. 1:6-7).

What should be our reaction during those times of trial? We shouldn't despair or be worried. We need to persevere in prayer, confiding in God, and making acts of faith and trust.

It's necessary to accept those difficult times, living one day at a time, and maybe one hour at a time, humbly, simply, accepting that we can't understand or master everything, if to surrender ourselves into the hands of God, in putting our hope in His faithfulness and His mercy.

At the same time, we should also share with someone who understands us and can help us in spiritual direction, or with some other person.

One of the most precious things that God gives us during these times of trial are the words of Scripture.

When we can no longer rely on our human capabilities and reasoning, because everything seems to be vain and weak, we can rely on the words of Scripture, which have a grace, a particular authority, that reaffirms our faith.

For example, when Our Lord says, “Do not fear, even all the hairs of your head are numbered” (Luke 12:7)—what an amazing statement! Try counting the hairs on your head some time. Our Lord—His statements are very graphic.

And every trial will end by the beginning of a new day, a period of consolation and joy.

We can ask ourselves or ask the question, ‘How do I grow in faith? How can faith be developed and strengthened in my life?’

The first response to that, and the most important one, is faithfulness to prayer.

“Persevere in prayer without getting discouraged,” as Our Lord says in the Gospel (cf. Luke 18:1).

The reason is that faith is a gift from God, a grace that we should request without ceasing, every day, and frequently every day.

Pope Benedict said in one of his writings that we have to nourish our faith all the time. It has to always be growing, day by day, through those acts of faith and asking for that gift.

In Chapter 9 of St. Mark's Gospel (Mark 9:14-29), Our Lord tells a story of a child who is possessed by a demon who is torturing him, which the disciples cannot expel.

The father turns to Jesus saying, ‘If you can do anything, have pity on us and help us.’

“Jesus replies to him, ‘All things can be done for the one who believes.’ The father cries out, ‘I believe; help my unbelief!’” (Mark 9:23).

It's a very beautiful prayer, and we can make that aspiration our own: “Help my unbelief!”

Our Lord says, “Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you” (Luke 11:9).

To grow in faith, the first thing to do is to ask for it with perseverance, with insistence, and God will give us what we request.

A second reason why prayer is so important for growing in faith is that faithfulness to prayer makes us exercise our faith.

The simplest and most normal way of expressing our faith and of making it grow is to pray, addressing ourselves to God, putting ourselves in His presence.

The very fact of praying is an act of faith. If I pray, I believe that God exists. I believe that He's interested in me. And I believe that He loves me and listens to me.

Whatever form our prayer takes, whether it's a request or thanksgiving, or whether it simply keeps us in the divine presence or is a silent act of adoration of Our Lord, prayer is always an act of faith.

Prayer puts us in contact with God and nourishes our faith. It makes us enter, sooner or later, into a living experience of God that will encourage our trust in Him and can get expressed in all sorts of ways.

Faithful prayer establishes contact with God, and that's the most important thing.

Even when it's about simply asking something of Our Lord, the most important thing is not the result of the prayer, which may not always conform to our expectations, but rather, the very fact of addressing ourselves to God puts us in contact with Him and so changes something inside of us.

Prayer isn't there to influence God, to change God, but to change something in us through this contact with Him.

In a mysterious but real way, contact with God through prayer nourishes our faith, encourages our hope, and increases our love.

This is true even if our prayer is poor.

Prayer isn't always about seeing, feeling, experiencing, or understanding.

Even in the greatest poverty, in dry spells, even with distractions, if our prayer is an act of faith, it would make us touch God, whose secret movements will little by little strengthen and grow our faith.

One of the requirements for this growth is to be vigilant in keeping, through all circumstances, a spirit of faith and avoiding whatever could be contrary to that spirit of faith.

St. Josemaría likes to call it “living by faith”—not just making acts of faith from time to time, but living by faith, a living reality that's expressed in words and deeds (Josemaría Escrivá, Friends of God, Points 190-204; Christ Is Passing By, Points 43, 133).

It's about remaining in the simplicity of our Christian faith.

We might often have questions, doubts, temptations when it comes to faith. All that is normal. But we shouldn't ruminate or dwell on them.

It's good, of course, to reflect on those things and look for answers, to inform ourselves. But sometimes we should just accept that we won't understand everything and can't explain everything, welcoming with trust and humility the faith of the Church.

“Unless you become like little children, you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 18:3).

Nor should we always be looking for extraordinary and new things that are more likely to satisfy our curiosity, not to make us grow in love and charity.

The founder of Opus Dei didn't like extraordinary things, or extraordinary miracles, or all sorts of supernatural events.

He was very focused on the ordinary because, he said, the ordinary person in the middle of the world is called to sanctify the ordinary realities of every day and put their faith into practice in those ordinary realities, not in the extraordinary, supernatural, spectacular.

We shouldn't always want to feel and taste things, but rather to accept the arid moments of the dry spells that we may go through.

Feelings, in the spiritual life particularly, can be very deceptive. Christ did not feel good on the Cross. Yet He said, “Greater love than this no man has, that he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).

It's a bit the same with the sequence of events in our lives. We have to try to understand, to reflect, to find solutions and appropriate responses.

But sometimes we have to know how to set aside certain concerns, not going around and around indefinitely on the whys that don't always have an answer.

It means trusting ourselves entirely to God, by accepting that we may not understand and master everything in our life.

We pretend to be able to explain everything. We have this need to find answers to everything, which is more the result of the human need for reassurance, rather than a real quest for truth.

One of the particular faults of our day is the desire to be informed about everything, always being up to date on the latest novelty, which can nourish our insatiable curiosity, but can make us lose the simplicity of our faith.

What saves us is not an abundance of knowledge and information, but faith and abandonment in the hands of God, a knowledge that we carry in the palm of a God who loves us.

One writer says, ‘When I need something new, I read St. Paul.’ The latest news can get stale very quickly and the only real novelty is the love of God. This love is always new and young.

Another frequent attitude that's contrary to the spirit of faith is the worrisome search for human security—always wanting to be secure financially, emotionally, intellectually, or otherwise; always wanting to have enough strength, education, competence, and means to do one thing or another—all in the fear of being caught off guard.

We have to accept the security that is given to us, doing our best to acquire and get ahead with prudence.

An excessive need for security and assurance ends up completely killing the spirit of faith and stops us from experiencing God's faithfulness and power, which is displayed through the weakness of mankind.

We can't just consider human experiences or circumstances, whether they be good or bad actions, or decisions of others, or the different responsibilities or causes that can intervene in the situation.

Living in a spirit of faith means believing that in the end, everything is in the hands of God.

There may be things that God didn't want, which can be the result of human errors.

But God has permitted them, and we have to accept them. Rather than remaining bitter or angry, we should be convinced that we are in the hands of God and are not victims of circumstances or the errors of others.

St. Thérèse of Lisieux said, “I am a weak reed that cannot break since whatever happens to it, it only wants to see the sweet hand of Jesus.”

The simplicity of faith can be a source of great peace and freedom in the end.

One of the great ways to grow in faith is to share it with others. Faith can be very personal, a very intimate decision, but it also has a strong community dimension.

My faith is the faith of the Church. Faith makes all believers adhere to a single reality, thus putting us in communion with each other.

St. Paul said to the Ephesians, “There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all” (Eph. 4:4-6).

We can't be a Christian all alone in an individualistic way. Faith is received and it must also be transmitted.

God wants us to look around, to see souls around us with faith, to whom He wants us to speak about supernatural things, or help them to grow in their spiritual life, or help them to see some particular reality in their life through the eyes of faith, which can change total perspective.

So sometimes in our conversation, a supernatural consideration can change everything. It can change the tone of a conversation and uplift the atmosphere around us. It can change people's ways of looking at things. It can bring joy and peace.

An essential way of growing in the faith is to celebrate it and share it with others. Proclaiming the faith, even singing it with others, strengthens it and makes it grow.

The liturgical assembly or the different forms of communal prayer are very beautiful ways of celebrating, proclaiming, and singing the faith together. Our faith shouldn't be merely kept in our hearts.

Our professional circumstances, and professional relations, and social relations offer us a million opportunities every day to somehow transmit words of faith and attitudes of faith to the people that we meet, who perhaps are waiting for those gems that the Holy Spirit wants to place in their soul and in their heart.

Our faith has to be externalized. We're meant to structure the human realities in accordance with our faith, to have an influence.

“Go you therefore, teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit” (Matt. 28:19).

“I have come to spread fire on this earth, and how I would that it be enkindled” (Luke 12:49).

God wants us ordinary Christians to do that with the people He's placed around us, our friends, our colleagues, possibly making new friends, getting into situations where we can meet more people in clubs or organizations.

We have to both witness to others about our faith and also listen to testimonies of faith from people around us for our mutual encouragement.

St. Paul says, “Keep encouraging one another” (1 Thess. 5:11). Everybody needs encouragement in the faith.

And in our profession, we have to try and make sure that policies, customs, and laws in society all reflect a Christian outlook.

At the beginning of the letter to the Romans, St. Paul says, “I am longing to see you so that I may share with you some spiritual gift to strengthen you; or rather, so that you may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith, both yours and mine” (Rom. 1:11-12).

We all need that mutual encouragement. St. Paul knows that in visiting those Christians in Rome who are yet unfamiliar to him, he will not only encourage them in their faith, but he will also be strengthened in his faith by meeting them.

We never know how much other people are going to strengthen our faith or lift us up.

When we share things with them even if we don't feel like it, or a bit low, or we're tired, or we're not feeling like it in that particular moment—maybe the Holy Spirit will use those other people to open our eyes a little bit.

Our God will give us special grace as we say those things to our friends to regain our joy and the high spirits that may have left us.

We get an awful lot from dealing with other people. We solve all our own problems by thinking about others. Our faith grows each time that we dare to declare it to others.

A medical colleague told me once he was in the medical residence after lunch one-day having coffee with twenty colleagues, and a senior registrar came in and began talking about all the sterilization operations he had performed.

This friend of mine said, “I felt a bit uncomfortable. I knew I had to say something. I invoked the Holy Spirit and I just said, ‘Well, I don't agree with what you're saying.’”

One girl leaned over to him who was beside him and said, “I couldn't agree with you more.” And somebody else on the other side leaned over and said, “Terrible idiot.”

He realized that half the room was with him. All that was needed was one voice.

Christ has called each one of us to be that voice in those specific situations—sometimes, to say things that are difficult to say, that might go against the grain, that might be politically incorrect, but which may be words full of faith that encourage others in their living out of their faith.

In St. Mark's Gospel, he tells that Our Lord, before ascending into heaven, gives out to the apostles for their slowness to believe and for their doubts (Mark 16:14).

And yet at the same time He sends them immediately “to preach the Gospel all over the world” (Mark 16:15).

Faith is one of those good things that increases when we share it.

You have something material, like a cake, and you give away that material thing to other people, but then you have less yourself. But in spiritual things, the opposite occurs.

The more we give away the spiritual things, the more we increase in those spiritual things ourselves.

Our Lord knows very well that in announcing the Good News to others, in aiding the Holy Spirit's work in the hearts of people by going to speak to them, the apostles' and disciples' own faith will grow and be affirmed.

It's the same for us today. If we can reserve our faith, limiting it to just a little corner of our lives as a purely private affair, if we never have the daring to witness to it and to declare it, there's a strong risk that it will wither.

God may place us in that situation where He wants us to have an influence. Our witnessing should be humble and respectful towards others. But if we want our faith to be living and strong, we shouldn't pass up opportunities that we're given to speak about it and to witness to it.

We can give marvelous example in professional situations, in word and deed, or in the family.

This doesn't mean that we'll succeed in convincing everyone. We have to be very humble, knowing that only God can open hearts; and that whether that faith is received or not, our testimony of faith will always make us grow.

We're told in Scripture that Our Lady “pondered all these things carefully in her heart” (Luke 2:19, 51).

We could ask Our Lady, that she might help us to ponder carefully in our hearts and soul all the great things that God has revealed to us about the virtue of faith.

I thank you, my God, for the good resolutions, affections, and inspirations that you have communicated to me during this meditation. I ask your help to put them into practice. My Immaculate Mother, Saint Joseph, my father and lord, my guardian angel, intercede for me.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

MVF